Does fakeness come with friendship?.....

Yo.
Today just brought a little more stress into my life. But I don’t really feel like discussing that until the shit gets better. [Hmmm, I have a way of avoiding my problems until their punching me in the face--then I have to deal with them.]

Anywho today I was chatting with an associate. She was talking about how she was going to hang out with her "friends"...but she didn’t want to go because she only actually likes 3 out of the 9 girls. From the outside they all seem like best friends. When we were talking it reminded me soooo much of my "friends." During high school, we had 7 girls in our "clique"...girls that all seemed like best friends on the outside. At one point we were all one big happy group. I guess? Well let’s put it like this...I didn’t have any dislikes for either of the girls at one point. If you ask me the selection was all over the place. Our personalities are SO different. We had the antisocial psychopath [Ally :)], the creepy lame as hell heartless (at the time) bitch [Reem :)], the stupid (stupid is an understatement) love struck stuck up girl, the one I never really knew--weird and corny girl, the CORNIEST reserved lame also love struck girl, the loud--- ghetto [lol] shit-talking bully, and me [the bitch who doesn’t know how to hold back her opinion also called the "whore".] We also had an addition to the "clique" somewhere during those 4 years...the quiet nerd who transformed into whoever you wanted her to be. But we all hung together, ate lunch together...and all that good shit. If I didn’t attend a party and someone saw my "friends" at the party they'd always ask "why weren’t you with yo girls Saturday."And I'm like "We aint gotta do everything together, damn." I mean some people really thought we were closer than what we really were. Our group was full of fakeness. The thing that probably bothers me most in friendship groups [or maybe it was just mine] is when you tell one friend something in private…by the next day the whole "clique" knows. Knowing damn well you didn’t want the others to even know that business....it happened ALL the time. I swear it was no secrets in that group...even if they didn’t know everyone knew the biz. Smh. anyway...high school happened; High school meaning drama. People stopped liking people, got into it with people, start spreading rumors and some other nonsense, just different drama inside the "group"...causing the group to break into different parts. I myself have gotten into it with all of them except...2, mostly for not being able to hold my opinion in my mind. Anyway…

Where is the clique now? Well we are divided into 4 different colleges. 2 at my new college, 3 at my old college, 1 in our hometown,And 1 in St.Louis. The two that I attend school with are cool, one is even my cousin...but since I never really talked to them about the most personal things it seems like we’re just associates. The ones at my old college are Ally & Reem [my best friends] and another girl who was on my bf list until earlier this year. Wanna know why were not besties anymore?! Well, blame it on me...always! Can't ever keep my thoughts to myself.[sarcasm mixed with truth…and childishness to the extreme] Anywho...they still throw a few "clique" gatherings every now and then. Why? Well I have no clue. No clue at all...I mean when we go it's so separated that it seems pointless. I mean I know out of the group everyone has someone they don’t like or they don’t like being around. And every time we all meet it just seems like a bunch of fakeness. People who don’t really like each other communicating for the sake of...well just for the hell of it I guess. In high school we were all hanging together even when everyone had their problems. We’ve all grown, I personally don’t "dislike" anyone anymore...I just don’t like being around some. Childish? Maybe...but I’m not really the one for all that fakeness...! If I don’t care for you I’m not gone hang around you...simple as that. Do you grow out of some friendships? How can you be friends with someone but when the friendship ends you can’t find one reason that ya'll were friends in the first place...other than it was convenient?
In the dictionary the definition of a friend is listed as:

1 a: one attached to another by affection or esteem b: acquaintance
2 a: one that is not hostile b: one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3: one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4: a favored companion

One that is not hostile? How did that make the cut?! Someone told me I didn’t have real friends just a bunch of acquaintances and I thought...besides my two best friends he is pretty much right. Acquaintances close enough to be disguised as friends. Females are messy. No correction, PEOPLE are messy. I don’t like messy. Ughhh, this confuses me. What is a friend? What qualities should true friends have? Has your "clique" narrowed down to one or two people? Are you not supposed to be real with friends? Are you supposed to hold back your opinion to spare feelings? Ughhh...this post has left me with way to many questions. Way too many. [Lol, so my best friends just called me from Mars...again, oh how I miss them]

[Subtract 2 of these girls and this is all of them senior year! Im missing the addition to the group, I think thats the one you cant see though, in the back. :)]

Anywho I’m sure you've noticed that I now have a playlist! It's the MOST random playlist in the world. I just added the “because I got high” song for the besties. Lol, it’s even has a gospel and a country song thrown in there. 2 of my favorite older songs are left off...they didn’t have them :(! [Superwoman-Karyn white & Congratulations-Vesta Williams] It has way too many songs, but it'll give a variety for when ya'll visit my page. Lol! Ok, give me your thoughts on how friendships should be. Ughhh...my bestfriends stupid asses JUST hacked into my facebook profile.Wtf? My privacy has been invaded, Im sooo drove right now...Ughh, Toodles!