Addicted. Just another nympho freak.

Yo.

I want you to understand how hard this is for me.
How hard it is...going without it.

Me?
I'm addicted to orgasms.
Addicted to the rush of energy through my body.
The release of all the tension of my day.
Addicted to the sense of calmness it brings me.

Pause.
Maybe you're wondering why I didn't say that I was just addicted to sex.
Maybe you think I mean sex.

No.
I mean I am fully addicted to orgasms.

See me...I've never cum during sex.
I've never had an orgasm from intercourse.
Never.

And as much as I LOVE sex, I can go without.
Orgasms...I cannot.

I have to have at least one a day.
But I usually have two.
Self pleasure is a necessity for me.

I've gone through extreme lengths just to...cum.
Even when I'm getting dicked down on a regular, I still have to assist myself daily.

So in a sense, I'm addicted to masturbating.
Because I'm the only one who knows how to make me squirt.
How to make it trickle slowly from my sugar walls.


I can do it in 2 minutes,
or serenade myself for hours.

But self-pleasure only makes me crave sex more.
Crave to be filled in ways only another could do.
No plastic.
I want to feel the throbbing inside of me.
Want him to be able to feel me when I clench my walls around it,
Hear him telling me how good it feels.
Wrapping my mouth around the warm beautiful brown skin...
feeling it pulsate as it builds up...
Knowing that I'm working for his nutt.
Knowing that this pussy has him addicted.
All things that a plastic dick cannot do for me.


I have a problem.
I'm addicted to orgasms.
Orgasms brought by myself.
And orgasms make me feind for sex.

Maybe I'm just a nympho...who isn't getting enough.

Counting down the days...

Yo.
I'm not really sure when EXACTLY he's coming home.
But I know that it's soon.
Soon, and I cannot wait to see his face.

I adore him, in every sense of the word.
I'm sure he won't really agree with my decision, but it's better than nothing. I'm ready for these fantasies to be taken care of. To begin this plutonic friendship after the fun is over.
It's crazy.
He's been the only dick in me for almost the past 3 years.
Last one besides him was the ex.
Valentines day 2009.
Since then, it's only been him.

Maybe that's why I don't really care to branch out.
Find replacement dick.
Because I'm completely satisfied with him.

Unless I can get a guarantee that the next will do it like him,or better...I don't want it.
I don't even want to try.

But there is absolutely no way in hell that I will limit myself to dick only when he visits.
That would mean that I would be celibate for majority of the year...with maybe 2 visits from him.

Fuck no, right now that sounds insane.
But it only SOUNDS insane.

I've gone without it for the last 5 months.
Waiting...for him to come back. Isn't that crazy?

I've needed it.
NEEDed it.
& I don't just want to go out and find random dick.
Nor do I really want a relationship or to be in love with anyone else.
The problem. I only want him, so the option of someone else has become non-existent.

But my sex drive is too high for me to continue doing this.
Because if I had the option to fuck him EVERYday I would.
Every morning.
Every night.
Surprise mid-day sex.
Smh, I wish I could go back to a time when all of that was an option.
We'd bang like rabbits.

When he gets here, I need to have all of my fantasies in order. I only want him to fulfill them. And if this is going to be the last few times, then I need to make it count.

Counting down the days...
The hours, the minutes, ...the seconds.

Withdrawals are a BITCH!

Yo.
When I started this whole "celibacy" thing I really didnt think I'd last this long. I mean..I KNOW me..and umm....I just thought I would have given in by now. AND surprisingly...I havent. I should be writting this post in a month and a few days..bc It will mark my 1 year mark, but um...right now I'm having withdrawals. Sex has always taken up a big portion of my thoughts! For the pure pleasure of my partner... And now...now that Im without it..Its worse than ever. & to make things worse my thoughts only revolve around one dick.

Setting up the scene mentally:
[Might wanna skip over this part.idk..all I know is it's my blog and I say whatever the hell I please :)!]

*Dial his number and get straight to the point*----
" I know I dont even contact you anymore...but lately I've been missing you. Well missing HIM. SHE needs HIM in her....delivering like HE usually does. I need to taste HIM...Ive just missed HIM so much! ...Need your tongue to lap HER up....Damn, its an understatement to say I crave it. Honey..Did I ever tell you you were the best? So...Get out of your plans with your girl and come fulfill my fantasies like only you can. One night honey, no one has to know but you and I....and my camera. Ohhhhh, Did I mention I wanna make a video?....Video so that the last time will ALWAYS be the most memorable....Video so that I can have a visual to go along with my usual thoughts of you...and NO you cant have a copy, we've already discussed that ;). When we get in the room...Call your girl and make up a lie to let her know you'll be TIED UP for the rest of the night. Clothes off...Lights dim.Tell her Goodnight and that you love her while I nibble at your ear. You already told me you miss it...Let me be the best you'll ever have.Then go home to your wife. No more calls..no more communication, Just come give me MY dick, then take your ass home well over satisfied. Muah! "
[Of coarse his response would be a non hesitant OK..Im on the way!]

[Like I said earlier skinny doesnt equal sexy...& its my blog so I do what I want! lol :)]

......Ughh...talk about fuckin frustrated.! But I respect relationships a little too much for that, so it will remain a fantasy. No homewrecking bitch here. But these withdrawals are terrible. Starting to get to me. But I know my reasons outweigh my urges..and I will continue to tell myself that to get through this with out having to make a phone call...ok Toodles!

Guys who don’t think they measure up down there/how girls have influence on how guys feel about their size.

Yo.


First thing, Sorry about the slacking with my posts! I will try to make this a daily blog...but sometimes I just don’t feel up to it. But hopefully my days will get better! Anywho, so I was talking to my brother :) and he suggested a really nice topic...So here goes.

ok..so this has nothing to do w/ the topic, just thought it was funny :)

Topic of the day: Guys who don’t think they measure up down there and how girls have influence on how guys feel about their size.

Ok. So this is such a touchy topic for a lot of guys. I've been with a guy who is a little insecure when it comes to the size of his dick. In my opinion he was just fine...all I needed! He wasn’t small, not HUGE...but not at all small! I never complained about the size of his dick, I didn’t even know he had a problem with his size until after we broke up. I asked him why he thought he didn’t measure up, why that silly thought was even crossing his mind when I had never complained. To find out the issue was based on what one of his previous exes had told him. He and the girl had gotten into an argument after they broke up one day at school. A very public argument and when she got at her maddest she yelled out those horrible words that no man would ever want to hear “That’s why you have a small dick anyway". Tragic! Of course in front of the public he dusted it off like it was nothing...but he took those few words to heart. & since then he had a problem with his size. When he shared that story with me I felt his pain. I mean, I knew his ex-girlfriend and I knew she was extremely childish! She was still very much in love with him and didn’t want to see him with anyone else. So when he wasn’t with her she took that below the belt shot at his pride. She won.

So after his story, I spent the rest of the night trying to convince him that he wasn’t small, but getting nowhere! [A tip for girls: When you’re trying to convince a guy that he isn’t small stay away from the phrase "It doesn’t matter about the size...as long as you can work what you have"...Trust me it only makes things worse.] I had never seen an insecure side of him, EVER! He always came off as so confident in everything...and he had that right. *"He walks like this cause he can back it up. He got a BIG ego -Beyonce" * I mean performance wise he was and still remains my best. He did it like no other, and it was all about pleasing me! But because some ex girlfriend said he was small he will always have doubt in my words. Doubt that he is the best. Why is that? Why will guys let those few little words take a toll on them? I mean if it’s only that one chick, that one time that has said it...why takes it to heart? Some guys say because that "one chick, that one time" is probably the only girl willing to be real with them. But if you know that you're giving pleasure to these girls...if you know that when you have sex with your partner you leave them CRAVING you...then why does the size issue come about?!

When females tell a guy his dick is small, for the most part it is out of anger. He could be 12 inches but when he makes her made enough she'll yell whatever it takes to HURT him...and that will most definitely hurt the strongest man! But the females that decide to yell that out of anger are childish anyway! All of them, no matter what the case, they are childish! If a girl just has to tell a guy that he is small that is not the way to do it. Personally size isn’t that MUCH of an issue. But it does matter, because there are some dicks that are just impossible to work with. Don’t even try to get in the bed with me if you only bringing 2 inches. That’s an insult to me! Smhh...It’s like dude wtf were you thinking?! Why even do this to yourself?! But guys don’t have to be 9 inches and above...6, 7, and 8...good workable sizes. 5? If you know how to work it then gone head do you. But 4 and under, I just can’t work with you, Sorry! [:(] Go out and buy some Extenze or one of those other male enhancement pills. No offense to you guys though. Because I have been with a "small" guy...and I just didn’t enjoy it...Guys with smaller dicks have more work to do. Pick your positions wiser...pick ones that off the bat give deeper penetration and maybe it will work!

Why let one girl ruin your ego, why base your size and performance on one girl/guys opinion? I mean why does that mean so much...especially if you know it was said out of anger? What could the next girl say to convince you guys that you aren’t small? That your performance is indeed extremely good? How do you handle situations like that? How do you tell a guy that he is too small in a nice way?! Just a few questions for you guys! Feel free to answer any of them! Leave me comments [it can be anonymous :)]! Tell me your opinion on this whole thing! Ok, until next time
....TOODLES!