They pretty much adore me :)

Thursday, October 29

You want to be a sideline?!, excuse me?

This week just started bad all together. But today, today has been a MUCH better day! Yes! Anywho, tonight I would like to discuss girls who FUCK with dudes that have girlfriends. [If you’re one of THOSE girls you might want to stop reading---this post is not meant to offend ANYONE, but if it be it!] So you've been warned...!

Todays Topic: Being one of THOSE girls...

So what is the beauty in being one of THOSE hoes...excuse me, one of those girls! What is so glamorous about being the other girl? In my opinion there is nothing glamorous about all. So why do sooo many women put themselves in this situation? I think that it's just a way of letting guys get away with being triflin'. In those girls minds they think the male cares more about them than they do their current girlfriends. When in all reality their there for pussy. Their fucking guys knowing that they have girlfriends that they care about...and shit to them that’s the best of both worlds. I mean can you blame them for taking the opportunity. They have convenient pussy [THOSE girls] and they have the girl they want to talk to, be with, sex, love, and vibe with on that level. Because THOSE girls can’t really trip when he says he's on the phone with his girl, or that he's out with her...or when he doesn’t respond or acknowledge them in public when their together. Smh.

So where are the positives in this situation? If the man cared about them that much he would leave his girl as soon as he developed those feelings...right? But instead he's claiming to the world that he loves this certain girl he's with...and where are THOSE girls? In the background...of no importance! Now some do it because they LOVE these guys. This is even worse. Every woman deserves better than being a sideline. Clearly they are the other girl because they didn’t quite meet the requirements to be his girl...meaning they weren’t good enough. It makes me sooo mad to see stuff like this. I think it’s silly and I always wonder what goes through their minds. Knowing that what they have has to stay hidden, never public. [Its some guys who make their sideline public...and to me that just means they aint worth shit. Just triflin’ all the way around because it means they don’t care enough about neither...] and to those who just get pleasure out of being the other girls...I find that just triflin’. Not because it can, mess up a relationship but because the only reason THOSE girls get involved is because knowing that he has a girlfriend brings them pure pleasure...not pain like those girls who fall in love while being a sideline. These girls find pleasure because “the fact that she don't really turns me on." - TLC. That "ahah, I got yo man" type bullshit. Craziness if you ask me. Pure craziness.

Now...I’m not perfect, I've messed with one guy who has had a girlfriend. But at the time I had a boyfriend as well. He had a girl; I had a man. My man was clingy as hell...and I was bored with him. [Which means I should have broken up with him...but I was childish then.] But this situation is different from the one's I've discussed above. We both had someone more important, we were both each other’s sidelines. The only reason this is different is because...well if shit popped off-as in if things went public- we would both have something to lose. Someone to lose. Which is a much better position to be in. It means the both of us were going to stay in line. And honestly I didn’t even like dude, we had a few conversations and kissed once or twice, but I wasn’t even slightly attracted to him. Just did it for the thrill, just to make my life a little more interesting! I know...I was childish, so sue me. So if you HAVE to have an affair with a married man or happen to fuck with a guy with a girlfriend...make sure the both of you have something of importance to lose if the situation every gets crazy!

To all those girls who are just deserve better. You ARE better. Don't put yourself in a situation for settling to be a sideline because you have feelings for a guy. Because if he had those same feelings you would be his girl...Point Blank Period. You’re disrespecting yourselves by settling. There are better men, one's that would never deal with making you a sideline because they know your worth! So...learn your worth! Ok, enough venting for tonight...until next time ........

Tuesday, October 27

So...I MIGHT be celibate?


So today has been a MUCH better day. Like I said I’m trying to be off that depressing shit! Oh, and to my new followers...*waves hands frantically*Hello lovely's! It's so nice of you to join me! :)

 Ok, so I've finally deleted all of his messages...and guess what I actually feel A LOT better! I thought I'd be sad but it's like having a fresh start finally! Anywho my topic for tonight came from reading a fellow bloggers, Epitome, post on her not hvaing sex. [Visit -Epitome-  *Here*] in this post I will be discussing my whole “I might be celibate?" thing. Yeah...celibate! Me? For those who know me yall are probably thinking "Girl hell naw, shut that shit up."...But if you scroll down I’m keeping a counter at the very bottom of the last time I've had sex. And...IT'S ALMOST BEEN 6 MONTHS! Wow!-- Now, I hate when people throw the word celibate around because most of the time if they not having sex its involuntary. Celibacy is usually based around religious reasons...and that is definetly not the case here. So I will not be throwing it around. I'm not taking a vow to be celibate, I’m just going without sex until I find someone who I feel doesn’t just want to hit. You know? And that’s been hella hard lately! Lately I just don’t trust guys as far as I can throw them [cliché I know!] But I don't. None of them.

 I mean at one point in my life I used to believe that it was possible for boys and girls to be just friends without either ever thinking any sexual thoughts about their friend. But yea...that’s proven not to be true for me. But...maybe just me. My friends that happen to be male have all expressed in some sort of way that they'd love a chance to sleep with me. I find it quite annoying. I mean here I am talking to you about all my life problems and how triflin' dudes are in general...and you’re lusting after me?! Ughhh...who does that leave me to talk to if all yall motherfuckas wanna screw me?! I mean is it really so hard to find a dude that I can just be friends with...? Without them ever thinking "Damn...if only she let me."...Ladies? Let me know if it's just me! I guess I just need to find a new group of people to hang with. New dudes, news females...cause the ones now, it just isn’t hitting on shit! [Well except my those girls to death.]

Anywho back to this whole not having sex thing. Ok, so at first it wasn’t intentional. It was just that after my last sex partner I became anti-social to the EXTREME. Which I still am, but then I didn’t even notice that I hadn’t had sex. Now? Now this shit is starting to get to me. but I’m not just gone walk up to the first dick I see and jump on it...oooh but some days...some days make me want to call up the closest dick from my past.... And I'll leave it to that. Simple. But now I’m determined to find someone who convinces me [which is gone be pretty hard] that they want more than just sex. Yeap, let’s see how high my counter gets before I take it down. Hopefully it doesn’t take ANOTHER 6 months...but who knows! :)! I hope my lovelys are having a wonderful day...Until next time...


Sunday, October 25

It's been a year :(


Today is October 25, 2009. Exactly one year ago the love of my life [K.J] broke up with me. Yes this post might be a downer, but I write about what's on my mind. And this I NEED to write. All month I've been dreading this day, wondering how I would react...wondering would I cry. Wondering how far I've come...wondering so many things that should be far from my mind. I don’t like talking to people about him, because I know that by now I should have BEEN moved on. I know that...I’m stupid. The saddest part is probably how we broke up. How can you break up with someone you claim to love so much through a text message...and when they call to ask what the fuck is going on you don’t even have the decency to answer the phone?! Besides that, this post is to evaluate how far I've really come. So I guess I have to ask myself some questions. [How often do you think about him?]-*sigh* Every day, every single fucking day. [What do you think about?]*sigh* How much I miss him, how much he meant to happy he made me, how i hope that he's ok.[Do you still cry over him?]*sigh* Sort of like I am now? Every once in a while I can’t help the tears. [Do you want him back?] heart says yes, but my mind says to answer NO. [Are you ok with how ya'll are?] Yes, I’m OK with not speaking with him. Yes I'm OK with not seeing him, Yes I'm OK. [Are you happy that he has moved on?] No. No I am not happy that he has moved on. BUT I am happy that he found HER. I am happy that he is in HER life...I am happy that he is happy! And yes that is the truth. This blog is no place for sugar-coating. I honestly believe that AT THIS TIME she might be a better girlfriend than I am. Yeah, and I never admit shit like that. So add up all the sadness with my happiness and you get content. So I’m content on how things happened. I have grown from it, and learned so much from him. Things that I didn’t know about me. I could sit here and verbally reminisce through our whole relationship, tell exactly what I love, what I didn’t love as much, and what went wrong on both behalves...but it would take a century...and leave me steps behind. You know i still have his text messages in my phone?! All of them...secretly saved in my drafts. Before the end of the day I hope I have the strength to delete them. He is not mine anymore, no point of hanging on to the "thinking about you's", the "missing you's", the "I love you's", or the "I love you mores’". No point in holding on so tightly to a past that has fought so hard to get away.

Simply, I miss him. Everything about matter what anyone says he is a great person. Even if he is childish, a cheater, shallow or anything else everyone else wants to call him. Every now and then I feel the need to call/txt him...just to see how he is. To make sure he is ok. I've never been the type to be stuck on someone. After relationships end usually I have a list of new prospects by the next week. And with him...I can honestly say he was different...but in an all too similar way. His laughter haunts me, random images of him, his smiles, his phrases...they all follow me. Why is it so hard to escape this feeling?!.Compared to others it feels like my first time falling in love. Although I know this isn’t the case. Why am I so scared to try again?! Because I fell TOO hard, and it seems impossible to get back to where I was before him. IMPOSSIBLE.

So to what used to be MY Mr. Jones...I still love you, BUT I am truly happy to see you happy with HER. And to the new Mrs., Make sure you take care of him. Make sure that you don’t hurt him...Make sure that you love him as I loved him, Make sure he stays happy!

[TO MY READERS: I'm sorry. I will try to avoid the depressing shit...but this I couldn’t until next time...TOODLES! ]

Thursday, October 22

Guys..Just like Bitches!

So this has become my basic place to vent. To vent about many things that bother me and today will be no different. So yesterday I was with a few friends on a somewhat blind date arrangement. [Which I don’t do] but there was a free trip to mars in it, so I went. While on Mars one of my friends' friends said “What? If he tell you I got shit on him. Like he making ya girl here [pointing at me] a hot topic. Telling all her business.” in response to a comment she made about getting information from her boyfriend since the guy wouldn’t tell her. Now of course I knew he was talking about me, and I knew exactly what he was talking about. But he didn’t think I heard it, and I'd like to keep it that way.

He was referring to how her boyfriend discusses me with his boys. How he tells "my business", meaning all the bullshit ass rumors that he's heard about me. Making me out to be a hoe, as usual. Now of course by this statement I’m not surprised. But the fact that he’s been talking about this shit for sooo long bothers the fuck out of me. People wonder why I have a trust problem with guys. Well he is a prime example. This is a guy I would consider myself cool with but is one of the main niggas spreading that bullshit...keeping me as a "hot topic". And as of now, I have a dislike for him. He's just like a bitch. If this blog were anonymous I'd tell names, but since it’s not I'll try to keep the peace. He along with so many other guys have taught me to keep to my damn self. It’s been so many situations too similar to this one that I've had to deal with. So many guys I want to call my brother or bestie but they talking about me harder than any bitch could. They act so fucking cool in my face...but then I hear all the shit they tell they boys. Bragging about what I they've ever had the chance. And if you ask half of the guys I know I’m sure they THINK they could get this pussy. Because they've heard too many times that’s its easy. But in all reality all of them have tried...and have they fucked?! No, have they gotten this pussy they claim is so easy? No. But still I’m just another nasty easy girl to them. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of all the bullshit, all the fucking rumors...even all the truths. No matter what at the end of the day my sex life is MY business and no one else’s. So one of his [my friends boyfriend] friends want to talk to me. He's trying to pursue me. And I want nothing to do with ANY of his friends. Because I can’t help but think that these are the same guys he talking about me to, the guys that share his opinion on me. The guys that after all his stories just want to see how easy/good it is! And will be getting nowhere, as so many others that have tried. And it’s not just him, I have soo many dudes trying to keep contact with me, but they the main ones talking all that shit about me. I’m not as naive as they think though. I know all their opinions, I note it and move on. Shit gets old. This post isn’t about rumors because I could write for years. It’s about guys being just as fake as bitches. Guys being just as messy, gossiping just as much [if not more] as females. JUST Bitch traits.

#1-Don’t come trying to talk to me if you only here because of bullshit that I’m supposedly had done.

#2- If you gone talk about me don’t be in my face trying to be cool.

#3- Cut all that fake shit out--it isn’t cute nowhere.

Boys with bitch traits are not for me. I’m sorry! Every day I can add to my long list of "why the fuck I’m not talking to guys now". EVERYDAY?! How ridiculous is that. ?! Anyway this is too long, still not all I have to say--but I do feel a little better. Tell me your thoughts, until next time......................

Monday, October 19

You won't wife me if.....I have a tongue ring?!


Every time I write I feel as if I must apologize for my lacking between posts. So I now retract my previous statement, this is not a daily blog. It is an at least twice a week posted blog. That’s a more reasonable promise I can keep. Anywho....

Today's Topic: You won’t wife me if....I have a tongue ring?!

Ok, so this topic in specific has been bothering me for a longgg time. I've wanted a tongue ring for the longest; I just think they are completely badass. They are such an adorable piercing. But people act like getting a tongue ring has a specific meaning. Like if you get one you’re automatically classified and stereotyped into this section: HOE. Why is that? Now I’m not the one to care about anyone’s opinion of me, so everyone ELSE's opinion of me does not matter the least bit to me. But his did. When discussing my plans to go get a tongue ring with my ex boyfriend [current at that time] he disapproved. We had a full conversation about what type of image it put off. He asked why I wanted one. I told him because I thought they were really’s like him with a tattoo. He said it portrays that you suck dick. “I mean they sexy. But when I look at a girl with a tongue ring all I think about is what she could do with it. I don’t think 'oooh that’s a cute ring'." I argued that just because someone has a tongue ring does not mean they got it to enhance their oral skills. Because having a tongue ring doesn’t mean you’re necessarily good at sucking dick either. It doesn’t necessarily mean you give head at all. [& EVEN if it did, what would it’s just a part of sex; BIG FUCKING DEAL]

He went on to say girls with tongue rings are not wife material. "You look at 'em, wanna get with them...but it’s for fun; never long term", according to his thoughts. What kind of logic is that? How can you seriously base someone’s whole self worth on a piercing they own? Just because someone has a tongue ring doesn’t mean they will suck your dick. Wife-ing someone I thought was based on the woman’s characteristics, values, morals...and all that other stuff. But because people would look at a woman your with and think "She's a freak", you wouldn’t marry matter how great of a woman she is. fucking shallow. I really hate when people let society determine how far their relationships last. Soon as society thinks the person they are with isn’t good enough, they leave. So my question to my audience is...when you see a person with a tongue ring do you think their nasty? Freaky? Not wife worthy? If so....Why? Why does it matter that there’s a ring in someone’s tongue. I understand wanting a classy wife...but having a hole in your tongue doesn’t mean she’s a hoe. It doesn’t mean that she isn’t classy. I want a tongue ring but because he gave his opinion that too many other guys have, I paused on the thought. I put off something I really wanted because of what society thinks.Ughhh, Sometimes even society [not really, it was just him] has an impact on me. If he hadn’t told me he wouldn’t wife a girl with a tongue ring I would have been had one. People don’t exactly have the highest opinion of me anyway; people are going to think what they want regardless. Somewhere in the back on my mind I agree, but only after a certain age period. WTF would a 40 yr old be doing with a tongue ring, it's not cute after a certain age. I'd have to let it close up when I got older...just because it’s a young people thing to me. I’m still thinking about getting one when I’m 21...just for the badass-ness! Anywho, Share your thoughts...Opinions? But until next time...

Thursday, October 15

How guys approach women...or Maybe just me!

Again....sorry for the lack of posting! These days I just don’t feel very motivated to do much of anything, anywho off the depressing shit. Today I'd just like to discuss something irritating me...

Today’s topic: How guys approach females...or maybe just me!

So recently I've decided to start taking numbers again. I told myself I was ready to get back into this whole dating scene...give someone a chance to make me feel like I have a heart again, you know?! [I had taken a LONG break from dating in fear of A LOT of things, but that’s for a different post.] Anywho since I've decided to date again I've been approached by soo many guys in soo many WRONG ways. And I've been approached by so many in a "supposed” right way, but still I’m not satisfied. Wrong ways include mentioning anything about my ass, tittys, or how you could fuck the hell out me if I let you. I mean seriously...who falls for crappy lines like "Girl...shit I'd do so many thangs to that shit what's up?" Not I. It’s so many more lame lines all too similar to that that guys use to try to talk to me. When they come at me like that, off the bat they letting me know that they just want to fuck me. So in the back of my mind I appreciate their bluntness. I appreciate them letting me know what they want so that I won’t even waste my time. Now the other half of the guys comes with some sense. But they all sound the same. How many times have I heard “Hey beautiful" in the last few months? Too damn many. I mean if a guy approaches a female how beautiful she is should probably be in there somewhere, just to get a smile out of her. But I've heard it so many times that it all just seems so fake. It’s like they have two play books out. And guys are either choosing "How to get a hoodrat" or "How to get a lady". Now in my imagination these books are only available to men. And these books have all the lame lines in it to catch either a hoodrat or a lady. So those who come at me with that "Damn lil mama" shit, they've classified me as a hoodrat. The ones with the "Hey beautiful" have classified me as a lady. Either way they are all reading the same lame books and throwing the same lame lines.

Now all of my boyfriends in the past are FOR THE MOST PART guys who have chased me and were unsuccessful the first few times but never backed down. I love that chase! It lets me know you’re determined to be with me...does something to a woman’s ego. All of the ones boyfriend worthy have come at me in the most unique ways...and I like different. I hate hearing the same lines because it just never seems sincere anymore. All the guys who have my number always text "Hey beautiful" to start a conversation. Come at me with the sweetest lines...and even if they are sincere, it bothers me! I never really trust it... [Which I guess has more to do with my EXTREME trust issue with ALL guys-but I have my reasons!] So it's to the point where when guys try to talk to me/get to know bothers the fuck out me. Seriously. I mean I’m thoroughly disgusted by most of their attempts. And I try not to be that bitch when they try to talk to me because in their mind their only giving me compliments...and who gets mad when their given compliments?! People who have heard all the lame excuses for approaches and just doesn’t want anyone else to try. I thought I was ready to be back in this...but it’s all just a game right now! I rather not let people get to know me, I don’t really care to get to know someone else...and I've been sex-free since MAY! :)! So why bother to talk to someone? The only reason I said I was truly ready was so that I can have someone heal my heart forget about my move on, but I KNOW that I won’t let anyone get that close to me for a very long time.

Just because a guy successfully got my number means nothing! I mean I hardly save any of the numbers from these for the most part if they call/text I don’t respond because I don’t answer random numbers. Now if the number is saved it doesn’t necessarily mean their special either, it just maybe a number that I NEVER want to answer so I have to set specific ringtones like " Imma call you but if you come by I won’t call you. Ok? Don’t ever ever ever ever ever ever come by here...ok?" -Smokey from Friday! Yea, them specific "don’t answer the phone" ringtones. I haven’t really had interest in too much of anything lately...only being with my family. I’m withdrawn from the rest of the world...and suffer from a lack of motivation! Anywho this post was just me sharing my thoughts on how guys approach me. I don’t know exactly how I want to be approached; all I know is what I don’t want! P.S- I think my biggest pet peeve right now is guys who try to talk to me when I've had some sort of relationship with their best friend. [There is only one person on this exception list] makes me feel belittled. I mean it makes me feel like either you just think I’m a hoe or you know for a fact that your best friend had no feelings for me so it wouldn’t matter if you had a turn. Either way it sickens me. I mean why try to talk to me when your best friend and I had a serious relationship?! It makes me soooo mad. Anywho....until tomorrow

Friday, October 9

Since when does small equal sexy?


Okay, so my last two topics came from suggestions from others! But today I'd like to write about a topic that personally affects me! Something a little more personal. [I know your thinking what’s more personal than sex...right?] So today the issue is weight!

Ok, so here comes my life story. I grew up a very skinny child. Not that I ever noticed. When I was that young I never paid attention to mirrors, nor when people would call me skinny. I mean at that age all I cared about was trying to dodge being “It". You know, running around trying to make it to base in "Hide and Seek", trying not to ever get frozen in "Freeze Tag". I was just being a child, care-free...problem free! If there weren’t pictures around from my childhood I honestly wouldn’t even know how I looked! Seriously! Anywho the summer before 6th grade comes around. I went from 95lbs to 121lbs...over one summer. I didn’t notice until my family made it clear that I was getting bigger. I mean my eating habits hadn't changed, nor my exercise habits. All my weight had went mainly to my thighs and ass. Not bad. I was now considered "thick". I still didn’t notice, I mean 6th grade was the first time I had ever even tried to care about what I was wearing, how my hair looked...and all that jazz! {BTW my mother was still dressing me and doing my hair EVERY morning for school then...}Of course I didn’t stop growing in 6th grade. By the end of 8th grade I was 157lbs[size 11 jeans, 32B]. By this time my mother was having a fit...seriously! I saw the weight in my chest and stomach were still personally I liked it. But number wise I had passed my mother [who was 129lbs trying to get to 140?]! And no matter how cute my shaped looked it was unacceptable number wise! So at this point she started with the snide comments.

[10th- [size11/34B] Now-[size14-15/38C] :)]
-This photo might actually be from beggining of 11th..Im not sure-
I mean EVERY chance she got she would tell me to push away from the table[ Although I eat less than everyone in my household..]..! And her remarks actually hurt. I mean I wasn’t doing anything different...and I was very active!There was no way she was having a daughter bigger than her. Now at this time a lot of extra things were going on in my life as well. By this time my mother thought I had been having sex [simply based on my weight!], she had accused me of being pregnant in as young as 7th grade! I was devastated of course. Because at that time I definitely wasn’t getting anybody’s dick...nor did I want it. All the names that I was being called in that household by the time I got to tenth grade was RIDICULOUS! I mean I don’t really know of any child that it wouldn’t affect in a negative way. After you’ve been called a hoe, bitch, slut, nasty, fat, trifling, heartless, and told "I hate you" from your mother...what everybody else says or thinks seems not to matter. [My mother now denies calling me any of them of course :/ & I love her the same!] And at THAT time in 10th grade...I was still a everything was based on her imagination! By that time she put me  on my first diet. And really it was portion control I suppose...but it just pissed me off and left me hungry. For a minute I tried her diets, thinking maybe if I did get to the size she wanted me at all this bullshit ass name calling would stop. If I did everything to make her happy.....because that’s all I ever wanted, was to see her happy like she was in my childhood! Anywho...longgg story short by senior year I was 187! My mother was freaking out--told me I wasn’t gone be living in her house getting bigger than the house! And I didn’t give a damn! She and my sisters are the only people’s opinions that have ever really mattered to me...and her opinion on my weight was just there to crush my spirits through high school. So I quickly got over it, I’m healthy...and happy and that’s all that really matters. Til this day my mother mentions my weight EVERY time she sees me...but it doesn’t really matter anymore! I mean...I can’t always make her happy, as long as I’m happy with myself..! I don’t know how she became so big on the stick-figure issue. I mean my granny and auntie are about the weight of 2 of me alone...! Well my aunt is like 11/2 of me...but my granny is 2! Maybe she is scared that I'll get that big before I know it. I don’t really know her issue on that.

[My favorite plus-size model that shouldnt even be considered "Plus", Tocarra Jones]
I never personally had a problem with my weight! NEVER! Not even now! & "number wise” I probably should! But I'm very content and confident in every extra pound on my body! My family still makes their remarks. I know I’m not skinny. Never in life would I desire to be! I love my ass, thighs, & tits! Everyone has their problem area...Mine is my stomach! But as long as it isn’t hanging over my’s not major! The reason this topic bothers me is because I see so many girls whose shapes are wonderful striving to lose weight to fit in with everyone else’s perception of beauty! I mean I know girls personally who have a problem with what I wear...and blah blah blah, simply because I’m "too big" for it. & by whose standards are those? If I want to wear skirts, shorts, short dresses...tight dresses, that is my prerogative! Who’s to tell me I can’t wear it...and look damn good in it?! The sexiest thing to have is confidence...and ANY woman no matter what her size is...if she works her outfits with confidence, I say gone head you! When I get to a point when I am just unhappy with my appearance maybe I'll work harder to change it...but never will I try to be a stick-figure. I like my curves just fine! If you’re unhappy personally with the way you look, change it! But do it for you, never for anyone else! Maybe my audience can leave me comments telling me why being small in some people’s minds is the definition of sexy...or whatever. And how if you’re must have low self-esteem, or some other nonsense! I mean seriously...where does this stuff come from?! Leave me comments. [They can be anonymous] :)] Oh p.s In my now picture Im 209lbs![See that number sounds soo much bigger than the :)]Until next time guys.....

Tuesday, October 6

Guys who don’t think they measure up down there/how girls have influence on how guys feel about their size.


First thing, Sorry about the slacking with my posts! I will try to make this a daily blog...but sometimes I just don’t feel up to it. But hopefully my days will get better! Anywho, so I was talking to my brother :) and he suggested a really nice topic...So here goes. this has nothing to do w/ the topic, just thought it was funny :)

Topic of the day: Guys who don’t think they measure up down there and how girls have influence on how guys feel about their size.

Ok. So this is such a touchy topic for a lot of guys. I've been with a guy who is a little insecure when it comes to the size of his dick. In my opinion he was just fine...all I needed! He wasn’t small, not HUGE...but not at all small! I never complained about the size of his dick, I didn’t even know he had a problem with his size until after we broke up. I asked him why he thought he didn’t measure up, why that silly thought was even crossing his mind when I had never complained. To find out the issue was based on what one of his previous exes had told him. He and the girl had gotten into an argument after they broke up one day at school. A very public argument and when she got at her maddest she yelled out those horrible words that no man would ever want to hear “That’s why you have a small dick anyway". Tragic! Of course in front of the public he dusted it off like it was nothing...but he took those few words to heart. & since then he had a problem with his size. When he shared that story with me I felt his pain. I mean, I knew his ex-girlfriend and I knew she was extremely childish! She was still very much in love with him and didn’t want to see him with anyone else. So when he wasn’t with her she took that below the belt shot at his pride. She won.

So after his story, I spent the rest of the night trying to convince him that he wasn’t small, but getting nowhere! [A tip for girls: When you’re trying to convince a guy that he isn’t small stay away from the phrase "It doesn’t matter about the long as you can work what you have"...Trust me it only makes things worse.] I had never seen an insecure side of him, EVER! He always came off as so confident in everything...and he had that right. *"He walks like this cause he can back it up. He got a BIG ego -Beyonce" * I mean performance wise he was and still remains my best. He did it like no other, and it was all about pleasing me! But because some ex girlfriend said he was small he will always have doubt in my words. Doubt that he is the best. Why is that? Why will guys let those few little words take a toll on them? I mean if it’s only that one chick, that one time that has said it...why takes it to heart? Some guys say because that "one chick, that one time" is probably the only girl willing to be real with them. But if you know that you're giving pleasure to these girls...if you know that when you have sex with your partner you leave them CRAVING you...then why does the size issue come about?!

When females tell a guy his dick is small, for the most part it is out of anger. He could be 12 inches but when he makes her made enough she'll yell whatever it takes to HURT him...and that will most definitely hurt the strongest man! But the females that decide to yell that out of anger are childish anyway! All of them, no matter what the case, they are childish! If a girl just has to tell a guy that he is small that is not the way to do it. Personally size isn’t that MUCH of an issue. But it does matter, because there are some dicks that are just impossible to work with. Don’t even try to get in the bed with me if you only bringing 2 inches. That’s an insult to me! Smhh...It’s like dude wtf were you thinking?! Why even do this to yourself?! But guys don’t have to be 9 inches and above...6, 7, and 8...good workable sizes. 5? If you know how to work it then gone head do you. But 4 and under, I just can’t work with you, Sorry! [:(] Go out and buy some Extenze or one of those other male enhancement pills. No offense to you guys though. Because I have been with a "small" guy...and I just didn’t enjoy it...Guys with smaller dicks have more work to do. Pick your positions wiser...pick ones that off the bat give deeper penetration and maybe it will work!

Why let one girl ruin your ego, why base your size and performance on one girl/guys opinion? I mean why does that mean so much...especially if you know it was said out of anger? What could the next girl say to convince you guys that you aren’t small? That your performance is indeed extremely good? How do you handle situations like that? How do you tell a guy that he is too small in a nice way?! Just a few questions for you guys! Feel free to answer any of them! Leave me comments [it can be anonymous :)]! Tell me your opinion on this whole thing! Ok, until next time

Friday, October 2

Cheating in Relationships

 Today’s topic: Relationships...Mostly cheating

Someone once said to me “What is the difference between marriage and being in a relationship with someone?" And of course I tried to give him a decent answer....but in all honesty my mind drew a blank. So I came back with “Marriage is a deeper bond, it requires excepting someone forever...and them being the only one in your life until the end of time, always and forever." He says “Ok. So what's the difference? In a love relationship you’re "supposed" to be faithful, you would do everything you do in a marriage that you would do if you were really serious with this person relationship wise. The only legit reason you should give me is that you’re "supposed" to do it... That it’s right by God." And because I'm stubborn I still tried to argue my side, although he had put me completely on hush mouth. Sadly, my main reason was that in a marriage you wouldn't cheat that that is the point in life when you have finally decided that you could be happy with that person and that person only. So my question is what have relationships come to these days?![Feel free to leave a comment telling me the difference between serious relationships & marriage...besides the obvious bible factors :)]

In a lot of younger peoples relationships today, sex seems to be a huge issue. Whether you’re getting it, from who, how you’re getting it, where you’re getting it, who’s getting it, who has gotten it before you...., it seems to be a huge aspect in relationships. Thus cheating becomes an even bigger issue. Yes, cheating...that horrible topic that everyone likes to tiptoe around. I hear so many people saying that their boyfriend/girlfriend would never cheat on them because they are providing everything they need. But still people cheat. When girls cheat on a guy there always has to be a reason right? It’s not like guys...because guys just do it for the thrill of new pussy sometimes but when a girl cheats there has to be something deeper...right? Wrong. I know a lot of guys who are strong believers of that. strong believers that if a girl cheats she’s doing it for revenge, or because she's not interested in what she has there, or simply because her boyfriend has done something to seriously piss her off and she found comfort in this guys dick that she's now riding. But I've been there done that and I know from personal experience that it does not necessarily have to be a reason for a girl to cheat. It could simply be because she was horny one night...and she needed convenient dick. But when a girl says something like that it automatically makes her a whore. Someone once told me “It is not in a woman’s nature to cheat, it is not instilled in them. When we [guys] do’s expected but for a woman it is out of character. Therefore it is whorish." People always ask is it possible to love someone but cheat on them. & yes it is. It is very possible. I hate the whole double standard stuff when it comes to guys and girls. I hate that guys can get away with so much. Giving an example from personal experiences: A guy from my past broke up with me saying that I had changed and blah blah blah. But to me it was random and the reason he gave me was completely bogus. & after talking about it later he admitted that we broke up because he had been cheating and it was bothering him to keep it from me...and that he loved me and just didn’t want to hurt me. I actually was a bit relieved behind the real reason we broke up and I was willing to stick by his side since he had decided to be honest with me...! But since he was honest I decided that I could tell him about the one incident in my whole life when I had become very weak and cheated. I told him expecting him to be mad...but to be willing to work through it just as I was willing to work with him...but of course it didn’t quite go that way. I had never loved that hard...ever, but still I found a way to cheat. Til this day I beat myself up about the whole incident...and think maybe if I wouldn’t have cheated we would still be together, but he would still be cheating. It wouldn’t have changed the fact that he had cheated on me numerous amounts of time...and that he COULDNT be faithful. It wouldn’t change that no matter what. So why is it so hard to be faithful, why is it so easy to cheat? In my opinion cheating is for those who lack self control, and yes that includes me. At the time when I had cheated I lacked self control...I just wanted what I knew would feel good... [Which by the way was far from it : /] & since then I made it a priority to have self-control. And believe me when I say I have come a long way & will never cheat again. That feeling of deception afterwards damn near killed me!

All they guys I've dated are completely different guys but at my age I never expect ANY of them to be completely faithful. How sad is that? How sad is it that girls constantly fall in love with these guys and when they cheat on them...they already expected it in the back of their minds. And no matter what it all ends the same way. Some people reading this are probably thinking it’s the guys you chose to be with, but even the ones I’m just close friends with, the ones I would never expect to cheat....still find away to amaze me. People in general cheat...even the most naive girls and the sweetest guys. People cheat...but why have I come so fond of it. Why do I now expect it to happen?! Hmm, maybe someone could give me some feedback to open my eyes! Give me your opinion on cheating...relationships...or just anything you think would make an interesting topic for a new discussion! I love share your thoughts :)! So until tomorrow