They pretty much adore me :)

Friday, October 2

Cheating in Relationships

 Today’s topic: Relationships...Mostly cheating

Someone once said to me “What is the difference between marriage and being in a relationship with someone?" And of course I tried to give him a decent answer....but in all honesty my mind drew a blank. So I came back with “Marriage is a deeper bond, it requires excepting someone forever...and them being the only one in your life until the end of time, always and forever." He says “Ok. So what's the difference? In a love relationship you’re "supposed" to be faithful, you would do everything you do in a marriage that you would do if you were really serious with this person relationship wise. The only legit reason you should give me is that you’re "supposed" to do it... That it’s right by God." And because I'm stubborn I still tried to argue my side, although he had put me completely on hush mouth. Sadly, my main reason was that in a marriage you wouldn't cheat that that is the point in life when you have finally decided that you could be happy with that person and that person only. So my question is what have relationships come to these days?![Feel free to leave a comment telling me the difference between serious relationships & marriage...besides the obvious bible factors :)]

In a lot of younger peoples relationships today, sex seems to be a huge issue. Whether you’re getting it, from who, how you’re getting it, where you’re getting it, who’s getting it, who has gotten it before you...., it seems to be a huge aspect in relationships. Thus cheating becomes an even bigger issue. Yes, cheating...that horrible topic that everyone likes to tiptoe around. I hear so many people saying that their boyfriend/girlfriend would never cheat on them because they are providing everything they need. But still people cheat. When girls cheat on a guy there always has to be a reason right? It’s not like guys...because guys just do it for the thrill of new pussy sometimes but when a girl cheats there has to be something deeper...right? Wrong. I know a lot of guys who are strong believers of that. strong believers that if a girl cheats she’s doing it for revenge, or because she's not interested in what she has there, or simply because her boyfriend has done something to seriously piss her off and she found comfort in this guys dick that she's now riding. But I've been there done that and I know from personal experience that it does not necessarily have to be a reason for a girl to cheat. It could simply be because she was horny one night...and she needed convenient dick. But when a girl says something like that it automatically makes her a whore. Someone once told me “It is not in a woman’s nature to cheat, it is not instilled in them. When we [guys] do’s expected but for a woman it is out of character. Therefore it is whorish." People always ask is it possible to love someone but cheat on them. & yes it is. It is very possible. I hate the whole double standard stuff when it comes to guys and girls. I hate that guys can get away with so much. Giving an example from personal experiences: A guy from my past broke up with me saying that I had changed and blah blah blah. But to me it was random and the reason he gave me was completely bogus. & after talking about it later he admitted that we broke up because he had been cheating and it was bothering him to keep it from me...and that he loved me and just didn’t want to hurt me. I actually was a bit relieved behind the real reason we broke up and I was willing to stick by his side since he had decided to be honest with me...! But since he was honest I decided that I could tell him about the one incident in my whole life when I had become very weak and cheated. I told him expecting him to be mad...but to be willing to work through it just as I was willing to work with him...but of course it didn’t quite go that way. I had never loved that hard...ever, but still I found a way to cheat. Til this day I beat myself up about the whole incident...and think maybe if I wouldn’t have cheated we would still be together, but he would still be cheating. It wouldn’t have changed the fact that he had cheated on me numerous amounts of time...and that he COULDNT be faithful. It wouldn’t change that no matter what. So why is it so hard to be faithful, why is it so easy to cheat? In my opinion cheating is for those who lack self control, and yes that includes me. At the time when I had cheated I lacked self control...I just wanted what I knew would feel good... [Which by the way was far from it : /] & since then I made it a priority to have self-control. And believe me when I say I have come a long way & will never cheat again. That feeling of deception afterwards damn near killed me!

All they guys I've dated are completely different guys but at my age I never expect ANY of them to be completely faithful. How sad is that? How sad is it that girls constantly fall in love with these guys and when they cheat on them...they already expected it in the back of their minds. And no matter what it all ends the same way. Some people reading this are probably thinking it’s the guys you chose to be with, but even the ones I’m just close friends with, the ones I would never expect to cheat....still find away to amaze me. People in general cheat...even the most naive girls and the sweetest guys. People cheat...but why have I come so fond of it. Why do I now expect it to happen?! Hmm, maybe someone could give me some feedback to open my eyes! Give me your opinion on cheating...relationships...or just anything you think would make an interesting topic for a new discussion! I love share your thoughts :)! So until tomorrow


Anonymous said...

So...(this is once again not your friend Karimah)I agree with you once again!We definitely think alike! Maybe we can become friends one day! Anywho I also believe that cheating comes from lackof self control...I myself have been in that situation but he and I were not in an exclusive relationship so it was somewhat not really....he and I were having technical difficulties and I acted out...a week later he broke my heart so I stopped thinking about it....he and I are somewhat back together and ive kinda put that incident in the back of my double standards do suck...but from my understanding double standards exist because it is supposed to be in a woman's nature to be pure and untainted until marriage, but a man is supposed to sow "his wild oats"....but when a woman gets her little cherry popped and she's like a pringle and the fun don't stop she's considered a hoe, a slut, she's goin, or whatever.....i dont think that double standards will ever go away....

RoByn LaTice said...

Ok, so [Karimah] you actually shed a little light on the double standards thing! Thanks!