Happy Turkey Day! :)

Yo.

So, right now I’m in between cooking turkeys and 3 dishes of cornbread. Yummy! Oh how I LOVE cooking. I never really realized how much it calms me; it’s like a stress reliever. Anywho, today I've been sooo busy. Don’t you hate when you’re preparing for an event and you do all your shopping early just to avoid the packed stores...and still end up having to go when the lines are around the fuckin' corner. Ughhh, that's definitely how I felt today, at Wal-Mart...Too many people getting their shit all late when I have 2 things in my hand. Then people look like they be ready to fight over the last of shit...Smh.
So people always ask that same question every thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? I never do the whole “What am I thankful for question?"... I mean I honestly don’t even think Thanksgiving should be a holiday based on the circumstances that it came about. However I do love spending it with my extended family; I love huge family gatherings!
While I'm sitting here waiting for my cornbreads to brownen [If that’s even a word] I wonder why people lie about being in love with someone. Someone asked me “SO you've never lied about loving someone? Ever?" And I was appalled that they even asked. I quickly answered no, why would anyone do shit like that. Why would you lie about loving someone? Then I realized...hmm, yea I definitely have. But I didn’t know I was lying at the time. Meaning I thought I was in love with this guy when I kept telling him I loved him. When really I was in love with what he could do for me...not so much him. In fact I started to find him very annoying, but the fact that he did whatever I wanted...I loved it. No questions asked [Which I totally hate now, people need to have minds of their own]. Hmm, I feel bad for letting him think I cared that much about him...but it wasn’t intentional. What about the people who do it intentionally. Knowing damn well they have no feeling of love but saying "I love you" just to string the other person along; just to fuck with their mind. Why do that? A guy told me he used to throw the words around because that’s the quickest way to get a girl to give her ALL...by bringing love into the equation. He said the girl becomes easier...it's a "leg spreader". Why mess with emotions just to get a little pussy though? That pisses me off sooo much. People do some dirty ass shit...and fucking with someone’s emotions hurts more than physical pain if you ask me. Anywho let me get back to my food!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I hope everyone enjoys their Thanksgiving! Eat plenty of food and have plenty of family time!

Until next time...Toodles!

Just Wondering...

Yo.
Today...well today taught me never to take Nyquil and doctor prescriptions together. Lol. I slept for around 19 hours...and when I woke up I swore it was around noon. Wrong, I woke up at 9:00...p.m! Missed 2 classes and still feel like hell. But I digress. Thanks for all the wonderful "Get Well" wishes. I really do appreciate it. I made my blog rounds, some of you post 2 million things a day making it IMPOSSIBLE for me to catch up..lol! But even if I dont comment on EVERYthing, know that I do read EVERY blog I follow! The blogs I follow are like a replacement to my TV. They keep me caught up on current events AND keep me highly entertained! Anywho...today I was just thinking a few things over, and wondering is what I'm doing a waste of time.

Have you ever wished you could get a glimpse of your future life? Not to be older or anything....but to see how certain things work out. Like when you start a relationship and wonder if this is going to be the one...do you ever wish you had a glimpse just to see if he'd be in that future of yours?! Or a glimpse to make sure that what you’re doing gets you to where you want to be. To make sure that you become someone...! I wish I could have a glimpse, a glimpse to where I’m completely stable/graduated college/started a career/ and possibly a family. But I guess having that glimpse would make things easy...or maybe more difficult. If you had a chance to see your future would you take it? That question is similar to “If you had a chance to know the exact date you die...would you want to know?"! My answer to that would have to be No. I'd obsess with things I need to get done before that date and my life would be on a complete time schedule. I'd surely stress myself out trying to squeeze it all in. Every second would be life changing...and when that day came. I'd surely go crazy and have a COMPLETE breakdown. Maybe if I had a glimpse into my future I'd be the same. I'd change what I was doing to compensate with whatever it is I saw. Hmmm...It's best that I make my mistakes and slowly learn from them. Its best that I grow, things are best the way they are...No premonitions needed! Ok, just a daily off the wall thought. What about you all. If you had the chance to see a glimpse of your future...would you take it? OR... If someone knew the EXACT date you'd die, would you want them to tell you?! Why or Why not...Until next time babes, Toodles!

Quick Weekend Recap

Yo.

Quick little weekend update...so that I won’t feel like I’m deserting my blog.

Wow, I'm at 50 followers! I'm soooo happy! Hello new followers! :)! Welcome to my crazy highly opinionated blog. Ok, so this Weekend was pretty good. Went home, spent time with the family. I saw New Moon with my sister and best friends. Reem was being her normal self---Ally was being bi-polar; which I guess is her normal self. The movie was off the fuckin' chain. Seriously, if you haven’t seen it I suggest you go watch it. Damn good movie. And Taylor with his fine ass...Mmmm, shit I'd take him over Robert P. any day. Anywho...Oh before we went to the movies, we stopped by McDonald's. We were sitting down eating and I was applying lip gloss. My sister asks "Is that the lip gloss that broke out that boy [my ex]" and I say "Nope, it was the cover girl lip gloss"...and Karimah says “Broke him out where...On his penis?"! When I say I was beyond shocked that she just said this in front of my little sister who I DO NOT discuss my sex life or the existence of one to--it is an understatement. I was like " What the fuck...No, on his mouth."! I was sooo uncomfortable...but I'm laughing so hard about it now. Anywho over the weekend some form of sickness has attacked my ass. I don’t really know what it is...but I feel like death. Ughhh. I’m having like heat flashes...while my body is shivering and stuff. And my head is pounding...Ughhh, I better be better before Thanksgiving. For once I'm actually sleepy. I don’t usually sleep at night...because I can't, my body usually won’t allow me...but I guess this medicine has me drowsy. Ok, life story. Oh yea...hvae I mentioned Im a HUGE Cowboys fan?! I dont think I have...! We took another win today [barely], but a win is a win! Anywho.I hope yall's weekend went great. I have to make my blog rounds and catch up with you all tomorrow! I should be back to my shit talking self tomorrow. Until then...Toodles!

" Yea babe, you can fuck my best friend! " <--- PART 2!!! [Guest Blogger]

Yo.
Ok, so the story on the post below is missing some parts that I didnt mention. And because of that I will post it from the sorce's opinion! She has the words directly from Amanda's mouth.  So, From the voice of Reem -My bestie- ::
*[My Commentary will be bracketed and shaded like such!]*

Sharing is definitely not caring…..It’s nasty as hell! Ladies Rule #1 of the Girl Code: Don’t fuck your friend’s ex, boo, plaything, dick on the side (I think that’s the same as plaything) etc.! It’s just nasty as hell! [Nasty and trashy as hell!] Now a few people who know my situation might call me a hypocrite for sayin this. a couple of years ago, I broke the rule and I started talking to this guy that my friend was also talking to…but had I felt that he and I didn’t have a connection I NEVER would’ve talked to him! Anywho me and the girl are on cordial terms...blah blah whatever! [Lol, they situation was way different from this bullshit ass fuckery…I promise!]Now back to the topic! Here’s the scenario: Andre texted Amanda and pretty much said, “Is it ok if I fuck your best friend Yoyo?” Amanda replied, “Sure go ahead!” Now in my mind Amanda’s response was this: “Sure you can fuck my friend I don’t have any morals and she’s a hoe so you might get lucky!” [Lmao, couldnt have put it better myself!]Now a little history on Andre&Amanda they fucked around for a while about a year ago and Amanda had feelings for him, she was even about to fight her “friend” Shannon for getting “drunk” and fucking him! Shannon and her got over it and she continued to fuck Andre….Smh, these hoes today. So you guys can imagine how shocked I was to find out that she gave Yoyo and Andre permission to fuck! IN THE SAME DAMN HOUSE! Her excuse was that she no longer had feelings for Andre and he could do as he pleased! In my opinion a man is only going to do what you allow him to do! So if she says yea you can fuck my friend, he’s gonna pull his dick out and get to work! Now Yoyo was completely wrong! When Amanda came to her with this she should’ve said no I will not fuck him…I don’t get down like that! She protested for a few minutes before eventually giving in…Smh….stupid hoe! [Meaning Amanda actually talked her best friend into sleeping with her ex…wtf? I didn’t think it was possible for these hoes to get dumber.] Also in my opinion Yoyo probably wanted to fuck him from the very beginning! Now a hoe is gonna be a hoe! So if Amanda said it was ok then I guess she thought it was ok. No matter how many ways you flip the story, well Amanda said it was ok, he was just a piece of dick to her, he’s to blame, blah blah everybody was in the wrong! I believe that Amanda and Yoyo have serious self-esteem issues! I mean telling your friend she can fuck your old dick on the side is not ok! Definitely not! And agreeing to fuck your friend’s dick on the side means that you have low self-esteem and you need your ass whooped! [Girl let this had been me and you, we would have been two knocking bitches!] I don’t care if his dick was 9 inches and he had a double-jointed tongue! NO NO NO! UGH! Amanda has a problem with talking about how good her sex partner’s sex game is! If you know your friend is a hoe, don’t tell her how good your man is licking and deep stroking the kitty! She’s only going to wonder how it would feel to have him do the same things to her! [Ladies that don’t already have common sense enough to know this, this is some real ass shit...keep it between you and him if ya girl is a hoe!]These girls definitely don’t live by the girl code! Yoyo needs to go to the gynecologist and get tested! (NO WALLS) [Hell yeah, She one of the bitches that could go on a shopping spree if she had a dollar for every nigga that done hit.]She is most definitely goin' goin' gone guys….i know this for a fact! [If yall don’t know, when a girl is goin', she's a hoe fuckin with a lot of niggas!!& to think me and that trick were fucking the same guy for a LONG as time, Smh I need to slap my damn self.]Sigh….Amanda needs to get a grip on reality…Sharing is not caring…it only causes more problems…even though she said she was ok with it….deep down she probably isn’t! [If she truly is ok with it something wrong with her ass…well something deeper than her OBVIOUS issues!]Andre…well he needs to get his ass tested too! [Ughhh, definitely...I hope they used some damn condoms.]And he better not even think to ask her if he can play with my kitty! DISMISSED! BLOOP! Thank you guys for reading! Hope you enjoyed! Kisses!

[LMAO, I love how she put this whole thing! Best friends think alike. Dismissed. Bloop! Lmao!  Thoughts and Comments knowing the added information?! ]

" Yea babe, you can fuck my best friend! "

Yo.
Ok, so I was really about to take a MUCH needed nap...but I got some shit to say. Ok, this isn’t my usual rant on shit I see on facebook/YouTube/other blogs...etc. Nope, this is some real life bullshit. Ok. So there are these two girls I went to school with. [I've known them since middle school and elementary] These girls are....wait, since this is real life shit I have to use "codenames" for these silly ass brauds-YoYo and Amanda-. Ok, so these two girls are friends. Like close knit friends, they even live together. Yea it's that serious. So one is skinny as hell and the other...well she aint. So for the sake of their identity well call the skinny one YoYo, and the other one Amanda. Ok so dig this, YoYo fucked Amanda's ex boo last night. We will call him Andre....! And that’s not even the part I’m really concerned about...there is more. Amanda told Andre he could fuck Yoyo and Yoyo agreed. [Giving this nigga permission to fuck her Best friend] Shocked yet...well it gets worse. Andre and Yoyo fucked in the house [where Amanda also resides] and she could hear them fucking...........!

Bruh [I don’t even use that word] that’s some dumb ass messy bullshit.
Anyone who doesn’t have a problem with some bullshit ass fuckery like this is just out of their damn mind. What the fuck is up with these bitches. I mean...Hold on, let me give you a little background on Andre and Amanda. They were doing their thing for a long while. She had feelings about him or whatever...but yall know, some shit just don’t work out. But they remain cool. Now last year one of Amanda’s other close friends, we will call her Shannon, fucked Andre too. Amanda didn’t give her "permission" and was furious at first when she found out...but quickly accepted it and marked it off as nothing. [She and Shannon are still close as ever...if not closer!]What the fuck? Dude seriously what the hell is wrong with yo ass to associate with hoes [YES HOES] who would fuck your ex-boo thang. Even with permission? So basically Andre done fucked 2 of your closest friends and yo dumb silly ass. I understand if dude was JUST dick...did I just lie like that? Yea...I wouldn’t understand it even if he was just eatin her pussy. You don’t go " Aye he was only eatin me, we can all share that fye ass head." Hell naw bitch.
Let's switch this whole thing to if I were Amanda. Number one: Shannon would have been cut. You aint gone fuck with my ex and try to be my best friend. No ma'am, and when I ask yo ass about it you lie to my face until wayyy later on. Bitch please! Shannon would know not to speak two words to my ass EVER again in life. Grimy bitch. Next: If Andre asked me permission to fuck one of my BEST friends...his ass would have got cut. No. First his ass would have got laughed at [Giving him a chance to correct his mistake by pretending to laugh with me and say he was "just playin"]! Ooooweee, if ya'll knew how truly disgusted I am about the whole little messy situation. Anywho after I cut his ass or he corrected his mistake then that would be it. It wouldnt have been no "Yoyo fucking Andre while I can hear them" situation. What does Amanda possibly think of her friends? what the fuck do her friends think of her? Grimey ass bitches sharing niggas....its way to many dicks in this world for that nonsense! Like fareal! What makes this ok with them? They can all sit around and compare how good or how garbage Andre dick is. Aw yea that’s cool? Where the fuck they do that at? Andre getting the best of the situation...wonder how he feels when he walks in a room with them, knowing he done fucked 3 bestfriends. [& shit if I were Andre, if they let me--I'd do the same shit...Smh at myself, I'd be one triflin ass nigga]
Clearly, I don’t think to highly of these girls. I mean they cool...to party with, but as actual friends...yea I don’t think any of them really know the definition of a friend. Or if they have ever had a real one. Because I know for a fact real friends don’t pull bullshit as moves like that. Now me and Yoyo have history. Terrible unwanted history that proves just how much she doesn’t know what "a friend" is. Silly ass. !
[I typed this way earlier today...waiting for an anonymous source to give her quotes so that I could insert her opinion..but she never did, Smh...!]
So..is this ok? Would you ever give your best friend permission to sleep with your ex? Or...if your bestfriend slept with your ex behind your back, Would ya'll still be friends?...Thoughts and comments! Ok, Until next time.Toodles.

You wanna put that WHERE?

Yo.
So I've been trying for like 30 minutes to get these 5 videos from Facebook on this post. BUT, I can’t...all I can do is include the link. [This will be at the bottom of the post]These guys have made a little show on facebook. It's HILARIOUS. Seriously, the shit it just too funny and I wanted to share it with my followers to get your comments. [WARNING: The following post will get a little nasty...vulgar, and if you don’t like reading about things dealing with sex...take yo ass on to the next blog. Still here? Ok, you've been warned!]Anywho in their latest episode they talked about swallowing nutt! And they said if you don’t swallow then it's their right to nutt on the girls face.

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Wait for it.......
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WTF?
Dude...are you serious? Now in this blog I try not to discuss sex so much because...well hell because I have some nosey people that I know who follow my blog. And I don’t want them all to know my business. And sex should be left behind closed doors. Left in the room with those two people. Anywho...I wish a nigga would. Like fareal. I don’t have too many limitations during sex, but that one...that one is a HELL NO. Aint gone never ever happen thing. Ugh. I’m not going to comment on the swallowing part. BUT if a female doesn’t swallow and the guy makes it his business to nutt on her face without permission...Hold on, Rewind that. If I don’t swallow and a guy makes it his business to nutt on MY face without permission [which they would never have] they better expect some damn drama. I’m getting up cutting a nigga, and the dick is gone be the first victim. This whole "cum on a bitch face" thing has always bothered me. When I watch flicks and see that shit I always have to turn away. Its sooo...Ugh, just ugh. I cringe when I see it, thinking "Ughhh, if all that was on my face...Ugh."! That's something I aint gone EVER get with. I understand making sacrifices and shit, but even if my husband wanted to do that, I couldn’t go there. No sir, you will not spill your "baby batter" [As Simone calls it] on my face. Hell no. It gets in their eyes and shit...Ugh, why do people get off seeing that? Guys? Ladies who will let it happen? Why in the hell is that a turn on?!
 Anywho they also talked about how one of the top ten females lies is “I don’t suck dick.". ! I laughed sooo hard on that episode. And I hear that soo often. Now I don’t see a problem with oral. At all. But there are a lot of women who say they don’t suck dick or wont when they are in public...but soon as they behind closed doors...SMH! I almost understand where they coming from when they deny it though. "Dicksucker" is used as a degrading term. So if called one the girl automatically jumps to her defense by saying " I don’t" and blah blah blah blah. Ugh, I hate to hear it though. I mean I’m sure some of them aren’t lying...but the majority who say it...they are. Now, dont get me wrong. Some people will say " Lady's dont air their buisness". And I'm with you on that...100%. but Not answering or responding to that type of question and lying about it is totally different. [Avoid the question all together, people dont need to be in your bedroom...but dont lie about it!!]I remember once senior year this girl in class asked me and the bestie a question. She called us over to the table and said "I’m trying to tell him....Tell him black girls don’t suck dick. Don’t ya'll think that’s nasty?"...Me and the bestie looked at each other. "Well, I don’t see a problem with it." “Me either"...She looked at us and was like “Ughhh. Well, something wrong with yall, Black girls dont do that. Something wrong with us? Um...cause we being real? Because we don’t see a problem with it...something wrong with us. Where in the hell did she get "Black girls don’t suck dick."? Why is that broken down to a race thing? SO white girls are the ones known for sucking dick? Is it because they won’t easily lie about it like black women? Just sayin'....! But I get where the ones who lie about it are coming from. One time a guy friend made a comment to a bestie about a note she wrote on facebook. In the note it had a line that said something about someone complementing her head skills...about how her head game was cold or some shit. [But the note was about love...and cheating...I think? She deleted it because some drama came from it.] And she asked the guy friend did he like her note and he said “It let everybody know you suck dick.”! Dude? Seriously...that wasn’t even the point of the note...and so fuckin’ what!! Yo girl suck yo dick on a daily and you brag about it...but when she write it...it makes her a bad person. Yea, I kinda get where girls come from when they deny that they do it. Because some people will look down on them...even some guys. Bullshit ass hypocrites. It's just sex...grow the fuck up. Anywho, this post is no offense to anything people decide to do or don’t decide to do sexually. Just letting out a few of my opinions. Yeap...until next time...TOODLES! :)

[Before clicking the links: They do discuss adult content in the video..so like I said above if you do like hearing about sex dont click on them. And ladies they do use the word "bitch"...some might find them disrespectful...! WARNED!]

Episode 1
Episode2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5

Wanna read another view on Cheating?

Ok, So quick post.
If you had the time to read my post Re: In the mind of a cheater, I'd love for you guys to go check out a similar yet different view on cheating. Ms. RO over at Love, Faith, And Hope wrote a response! [She herself has never cheated! :)]...Go check out her opinion on Cheating -->*HERE*<-- ! I enjoyed it, Hope you guys will too! :) Ok, Toodles!

I'm a star in my mind....lol, Another award...{ :) }!

Yo.

Guess what?....Yeap by the title you can see I got another award. I got the " I love your blog award". Isn't this so sweet? Yes, My second blog award! I'm sooo happy! :) This blog award was given to me by Neesha B. Fly over at *The Real Dish*! [<----ViSiT HER]! Her blog is a mixture of celebrity news,gossip, current events, music, fashion, arts...all with the twist of her opinion. Very interesting..not so typical like a lot of Celebrity Blogs! I love hers! Anywho Im rambling, go check her out...NOW!
Toodles!

"Um...Who are you?--Ignore that ass"

Yo.
Ok, so I have a question. Why do random ass females add you as a friend on facebook? I mean really...what is their purpose. Usually I'll just ignore their request because in my mind if they are adding me I'm always like there is an underlying reason. For example: Today some girl sent me a request to be my friend. [In my mind, I concocted a whole story as to why she was probably adding me.] “Wtf? Who is this girl trying to be all up in my business? Hmm...Let’s check out her profile and see if I know her... [checking profile]...Nope. Don’t know her. Well it says she went to school at [Insert a local high school in my hometown], I only know a couple of girls from that school. One which I blocked from my profile. She probably adding me so that her and the girl can be all up in my shit. So that the girl I blocked has access to my business... Nope, decline that ass." <---Yeap, that’s the exact conversation that went on in my head. [...Don't judge me!] I always think they are adding me to be messy, to be nosey, and to be all up in my business. Mind you all that on facebook I have everything set to private. So if you’re not on my friends list and you see my name from someone else’s profile all you see is "Robyn Valentine" in black. You can’t see my profile picture; all you can do is send a message or a friend request. Now some random girl adding me as "Robyn Valentine"...Hmm? Is that not shady to yall. [For those who don’t know my last name is not Valentine---that’s just a 'joke' with some friends.] So why add me? Guys do this too, but I never think the same of the guys. I mean if I don’t know them I won’t add them anymore either because soon as I accept that request they send some lame ass shit to the inbox. But I always just mark the guys off, but the females?! Nope...I’m still trying to figure out why this recent girl tried to add me. I always want to message them and ask “Do I know you?"...just to see if someone is going to say “No, I saw you on someone else’s page and just wanted to be a nosey bitch." or " My homegirl dont like you and I just wanted to see who you were." Hmm, come to think of it…The reason I'm probably so on the fence about the whole situation is because I know why I add random girls I don’t know. Or why I used to. [Warning: This is an EXTREME psycho move]One time I went through my ex boyfriends list [while we were together]and added EVERYONE on his friend list that wasn’t on mine. Lol, I know that’s hella crazy but he was having wall conversations with to many people. And I wanted to see what he was saying to them, not what they were saying to him. And the only person who questioned my friendship was his cousin who lived out of state and was like “Um, do I know you?"...and I was like “Nope, just adding you from someone else’s friend list." Hmm, I’m sure she thought I was hella crazy...and she still accepted?! Hmm, crazy! Anywho, I've added girls that my friend’s exes are talking to or dating because I want to put a face with the girls my friends currently dislike. So that I can judge and see if he upgraded or not…lol! Being nosey….tisk tisk tisk. And don’t you hate it when a person you can’t stand tries to add you. Aren’t you like “Wtf? Now this bitch KNOW I don’t like her and her ass don’t like me...Why she tryna be childish--ignore that ass.” Lol, maybe that’s just my reaction. Do some girls add you sincerely to make new friends?!Just a random rant... [I have to stay off of facebook]---Toodles!
P.S-

This has nothing to do with my topic. I just thought this was funny as hell! I love lamebook. If you need a laugh definetly go check it out! They find the DUMBEST shit on fb! :)

Re: In the mind of "a cheater"

Yo.
Ok, before I even state the topic at hand I know that throughout this post I will manage to sound like a complete hypocrite while contradicting almost every statement I make. But hopefully by the end of the post you will at least understand MY OPINION. ! Ok, so today I am basically responding to Bubbles over at  irant. idance. iwrite. She recently wrote a post titled "In the mind of a cheater"[See it *HERE*] and I would like to respond. I'm sure people will disagree...all the more reason to comment! :) ! She discussed why cheaters cheat and her whole point of view on cheating. Now I feel compelled to discuss mine. Now in no way do I condone cheating. At all, get that straight before I start to express any feeling on the topic.

So...Why do cheaters cheat? Why did I cheat? <--- [Her first question]
Well there are two reasons that cheaters cheat. It is either an emotional need or a physical need. People tend to say the reasons are based on the gender, but cheating is not to be narrowed down to a gender. Men cheat. Women cheat. People...People just cheat. Both reasons can be broken down into many things. The cheater could be lacking what they need from their partner emotionally: attention, affection, communication...etc. OR the total opposite. The cheater could be getting emotionally smothered by their partner where they just need room to breathe. Thus comes the third person [the person the cheater cheats with]. That person might give them all the compliments in the world, might make time for them when their partner seems to never have any. OR could be the one that doesn’t bother them, the one who gives them as much space as possible, an outlet when the person feels smothered in the relationship...etc. A physical need? The cheater's partner could be lacking in the sex department, isn’t willing to do certain things, just plain boring...etc. OR the person could LOVE their partner’s sex and just yearn for more, looking for "Ms. Right now","Ms. How I like it","Ms. No-strings". Basically being just to be fucking. I could go on forever and ever on reasons why people cheat. But moving on...Why did I cheat?
Hmmm, well like Ms.Bubbles said "I don’t know." I don’t know meaning...things were going well in the relationship but one night I slipped he wasn’t there and I was horny. Simple and as plain as that...meaning "It just happened." people always ask “How the fuck does that just happen?"...Well, you’re in a room with someone...your hormones are all over the place...and you know you want sex. [Right here is your place to be strong enough to walk away or like I was told "not put yourself in this situation in the first place"] But since I already had put myself there when the touching and shit started happening...IT JUST HAPPENED. Plain. Simple. I fought the urge...but still it happened. I asked the first person who cheated on me “What the fuck do you mean it just happened? Did I not cross your mind? Was it not enough to stop you from fucking her?"...and when I cheated I asked myself the same question. And sadly...I did think about him, I thought about him before, I thought about him during, I thought about him after...after while I cried. I thought about him the whole way. Why didn’t my thoughts stop me...why didn’t they stop me from hurting him? Because...I knew what I wanted, what it felt like I NEEDED that night to feel better. I knew that I was a bad person.
So why did I cheat?--Because that night I lacked self-control...because that night all I wanted was pleasure....and he was not there to give it to me.

Now people say once a cheater always a cheater. Well...I will not cheat again. Because it honestly destroyed me. It destroyed me as a person, and left me in a place where I never want to be again. It got to a point where I felt like I was begging him to stay with me "Give me another chance" and all that dumb bullshit I used to hate to see other girls do. And if you know me...you know that that is nowhere in Robyn's character to be that typical bitch. Nowhere...But because I knew I was in the wrong...because I knew I had so much to contribute to the breakup I felt like it was my job to fix the pain, no matter if I had to beg and plead. “Let’s crawl back to love.” ...When really fuck that, I don’t advise any woman to go there...let it be, let him beg you. When I say I cried my life into a puddle, it's no joke. Seconds after the cheating he called me. It was 4 in the morning. He called saying “So...you weren’t going to call me to say goodnight?"...Immediately tears rolled down my face, it took everything out of me to not break down and tell him how much of a bad person I was...and how he deserved better. It took so much out of me. I was crying outside listening to him talk about how much he loved me...and that he was sitting waiting for me to call. And wtf was I doing? Fucking someone of no importance to me. Just for that temporary high. Temporary highs lead to drastic lows. Later when we broke up he was admitting how he cheated and how it was bothering him to keep secrets from me and how bad he felt...and I thought I owed him the same honesty. So I told him, it hurt him. I felt...words can’t describe that hurt. After asking me why did I cheat and me answering it just happened, he said “See, you’re not giving me a reason. You say it won’t happen again but how could I stop it from happening again if there isn’t reason. I mean you could have said 'because it was Tuesday' and I would make it my business to stay on the phone w/ you 24 hours on Tuesdays. But you not having a reason...how could I fix that? What about the next time you’re horny and I’m not there?"...Wow. All I could say was “It won’t happen again."...he made a valid point. He shut any apology that I ever gave down. If you didn’t have a reason...what would stop you from cheating the next time? Because next time I WILL have self control...I will always remember that cheating damn near destroyed me.
Her next question was: What if you [the person being cheated on] cheated? Wouldn’t you want your mate to take you back?
Basically put yourself in their shoes. Well I'll give you my scenario. Once he told me he cheated...I was willing to take him back. I was willing to work with him through the flaws...I was willing to be there, and would have been willing even if I hadn’t cheated. [Love makes you do and accept some dumb ass shit.]His reaction to this was " I don’t think anyone has showed me they loved me this much, maybe [enter ex girlfriend before me name here], but not even she showed that she loved me this much. One day I am going to marry you." Sounds like he was happy right?...Now minutes later after I confessed it all changed. “Bye Robyn, just bye." and "Since you look at cheating as not such a big idea idk if I would want to marry anyone like that." BAM! POW. And all those other action words that would describe what was being done to my heart at the time. I was so confused. I mean here I was ready to work with you through your problem [because you cheated well over one time] and you could not/would not accept my one time cheating. Damn, should've kept my mouth shut. I do think cheating is a big deal...it's a huge deal actually. Anywho, putting myself in my partners shoes since I've cheated before...Would I take someone else back if they cheat on me? Ask the person who cheated "If I cheated on you...would you take me back?" If they say yes...proceed to make up a story about how you cheated [make it seem as real as possible]...just to get their REAL reaction, and go from there. If he/she was actually willing to be there with you sincerely, tell them you lied to get their reaction. And maybe those who would accept you...MAYBE they deserve ONE more chance, those who are like fuck you...then fuck them!
"I can say that cheaters don't mean to cheat. We don't go out of our way to hurt the people who love us."- Bubbles
With all of that said...give me your opinion on this whole thing?! I'd love to hear both sides...no matter what! :)! Toodles!

Hacking Update :)!

Yo.
Ok, first things first. I think they hacked my blog as well. In the friendship post it had a section about the added girl to our group. About how she went through a lot of bullshit with our "clique"...how we as a group were the definition of triflin towards her, and how I felt kind of bad about it. Being childish and all. And somhow that whole section came up missing..ANYWHO i found a way to "hack" into their [my best friends] profiles. Well one of their profiles on facebook. And it wouldnt really be what i consider hacking[more like identity theft!]. i had to go through a looong process where I could basically get her WHOLE account transferred over to my email account...lol! Making it so that she could NEVER log onto her account again..and couldnt even change the password..cause if she did it would come to my email address not her's. How you might ask?...Well since I know she's reading....it's a secret. BUT I only can do it for one of them...and thats not the one I want to get back. Nope. So until I'm able to get the other ones information and all that jazz...I will let by-gone's be by-gones. I dont care about any of their info..I just want payback! :) ! ..lol, ok Toodles!

*Gasp*....I feel like a star: And the Award goes to...

Yo.
*screaming excitedly*: LOVELY'S I GOT AN AWARD.! Yes, little ole me got an award. I'm so happy about this. My first blog award was given to me earlier today by SYLVIA over at * Photography by Me * . She's so sweet. I like that she has so much variety in her posts, so you never get bored visiting.! Her blog is very entertaining and she takes some pretty badass pictures. If you havent checked her out...Do so NOW! :)

I'm not required to do anything but accept the award really, but I do want to give it to those other bloggers who have shown me support! [Sidenote: Could I give someone who rewards me the same award back?..What about if they created the award?..If so, I'd like to give it back to Sylvia! :)]

[Isn't this the cutest award ever?]

Those who have shown me constant support and deserve the award:

• xxxx over at *Golden Mind* 
• her. over at *A Swirl of My World*
• Supastarr over at *Supastarrr, the,co-ed*
• Secretia over at *SecretStory Time*
• A.R. over at *fuck the rest*
• Ro over at *Ro is getting fit*

**  I would also give it to Reem and Meech becaue they follow my blog and comment when needed since the beginning..but those whores dont have blogs! Booo...but I appreciate yall too :)
Ughhh, I feel like I missing someone. If I missed you and youve constantly shown me love...I'm sorry! Truly! I know how some of yall dont like making post dedicated to awards and you dont have to if you dont want to, Anywho..enjoy guys! I really appreciate you all! Ok, Toodles! :)

Wtf? These bitches done hacked my account!

Yo.

So, I've been up all night trying to find a way to hack these hoes back. [For those who didn’t read the end of my last post---My best friends decided to make their day a little better by hacking into my facebook profile last night...] I was like what the hell? What’s wrong with these lifeless tricks? I was too drove [upset]. How dare they hack into my page? Invade my little privacy. And of course they are reading this, and I'd like to say “Karimah and Allyson...ya'll are some bitches and I can’t stand yall sorry asses." But they wanted me to know because they could have definitely gotten away with it...if they didn’t decided to respond to one of my wall post. I logged on and was like...what is this? I didn’t respond to this shit...I wasn’t even on here 8 minutes ago. Aghh, someone has hacked my page. Then I calmed down when I read the content of the wall post and saw that Reem had posted something to my wall as well. But of course they want to act stupid about the whole thing, like they don’t know shit. Like these hoes didn’t text me and say “Log on facebook."--like Reem didn’t leave her signature writing responding to the wall post...or like she didn’t post a random Ahhaahahaha at the end of her wall post.Ughh. But it's cool! I thought I knew the way to hack, so I THOUGHT getting them back would be easy. Hell naw. So far I've had to pull all kinds of tricks and shit...Ughhh! And I'm still not done, but I'm pretty sure before the end of the day I'll have all I need to know.! :) ! At first I was just going to freeze their accounts where they just can’t log in and stuff, downloaded the program and everything. Yeap, but that’s not good enough. And since they want to be childish, I’m bringing it as low as it gets. So IF this works, I will be reporting back with yall on an update of exactly what and how I did it! Lol :)! And to the whores [Reem& Ally]: I got yall bitches! *evil laugh*...and on that note I'm out! Toodles!

Does fakeness come with friendship?.....

Yo.
Today just brought a little more stress into my life. But I don’t really feel like discussing that until the shit gets better. [Hmmm, I have a way of avoiding my problems until their punching me in the face--then I have to deal with them.]

Anywho today I was chatting with an associate. She was talking about how she was going to hang out with her "friends"...but she didn’t want to go because she only actually likes 3 out of the 9 girls. From the outside they all seem like best friends. When we were talking it reminded me soooo much of my "friends." During high school, we had 7 girls in our "clique"...girls that all seemed like best friends on the outside. At one point we were all one big happy group. I guess? Well let’s put it like this...I didn’t have any dislikes for either of the girls at one point. If you ask me the selection was all over the place. Our personalities are SO different. We had the antisocial psychopath [Ally :)], the creepy lame as hell heartless (at the time) bitch [Reem :)], the stupid (stupid is an understatement) love struck stuck up girl, the one I never really knew--weird and corny girl, the CORNIEST reserved lame also love struck girl, the loud--- ghetto [lol] shit-talking bully, and me [the bitch who doesn’t know how to hold back her opinion also called the "whore".] We also had an addition to the "clique" somewhere during those 4 years...the quiet nerd who transformed into whoever you wanted her to be. But we all hung together, ate lunch together...and all that good shit. If I didn’t attend a party and someone saw my "friends" at the party they'd always ask "why weren’t you with yo girls Saturday."And I'm like "We aint gotta do everything together, damn." I mean some people really thought we were closer than what we really were. Our group was full of fakeness. The thing that probably bothers me most in friendship groups [or maybe it was just mine] is when you tell one friend something in private…by the next day the whole "clique" knows. Knowing damn well you didn’t want the others to even know that business....it happened ALL the time. I swear it was no secrets in that group...even if they didn’t know everyone knew the biz. Smh. anyway...high school happened; High school meaning drama. People stopped liking people, got into it with people, start spreading rumors and some other nonsense, just different drama inside the "group"...causing the group to break into different parts. I myself have gotten into it with all of them except...2, mostly for not being able to hold my opinion in my mind. Anyway…

Where is the clique now? Well we are divided into 4 different colleges. 2 at my new college, 3 at my old college, 1 in our hometown,And 1 in St.Louis. The two that I attend school with are cool, one is even my cousin...but since I never really talked to them about the most personal things it seems like we’re just associates. The ones at my old college are Ally & Reem [my best friends] and another girl who was on my bf list until earlier this year. Wanna know why were not besties anymore?! Well, blame it on me...always! Can't ever keep my thoughts to myself.[sarcasm mixed with truth…and childishness to the extreme] Anywho...they still throw a few "clique" gatherings every now and then. Why? Well I have no clue. No clue at all...I mean when we go it's so separated that it seems pointless. I mean I know out of the group everyone has someone they don’t like or they don’t like being around. And every time we all meet it just seems like a bunch of fakeness. People who don’t really like each other communicating for the sake of...well just for the hell of it I guess. In high school we were all hanging together even when everyone had their problems. We’ve all grown, I personally don’t "dislike" anyone anymore...I just don’t like being around some. Childish? Maybe...but I’m not really the one for all that fakeness...! If I don’t care for you I’m not gone hang around you...simple as that. Do you grow out of some friendships? How can you be friends with someone but when the friendship ends you can’t find one reason that ya'll were friends in the first place...other than it was convenient?
In the dictionary the definition of a friend is listed as:

1 a: one attached to another by affection or esteem b: acquaintance
2 a: one that is not hostile b: one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3: one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4: a favored companion

One that is not hostile? How did that make the cut?! Someone told me I didn’t have real friends just a bunch of acquaintances and I thought...besides my two best friends he is pretty much right. Acquaintances close enough to be disguised as friends. Females are messy. No correction, PEOPLE are messy. I don’t like messy. Ughhh, this confuses me. What is a friend? What qualities should true friends have? Has your "clique" narrowed down to one or two people? Are you not supposed to be real with friends? Are you supposed to hold back your opinion to spare feelings? Ughhh...this post has left me with way to many questions. Way too many. [Lol, so my best friends just called me from Mars...again, oh how I miss them]

[Subtract 2 of these girls and this is all of them senior year! Im missing the addition to the group, I think thats the one you cant see though, in the back. :)]

Anywho I’m sure you've noticed that I now have a playlist! It's the MOST random playlist in the world. I just added the “because I got high” song for the besties. Lol, it’s even has a gospel and a country song thrown in there. 2 of my favorite older songs are left off...they didn’t have them :(! [Superwoman-Karyn white & Congratulations-Vesta Williams] It has way too many songs, but it'll give a variety for when ya'll visit my page. Lol! Ok, give me your thoughts on how friendships should be. Ughhh...my bestfriends stupid asses JUST hacked into my facebook profile.Wtf? My privacy has been invaded, Im sooo drove right now...Ughh, Toodles!

Getting to know little ole ME!

Yo.

So today I'm going to do a post about little things in my life...getting to know me a little more. [It has a lot of photos randomly thrown in , sorry! :)]Right now I’m on the phone with my best friend, Reem. She's what we call "on mars"! She is past gone, and she is holding me hostage on the phone. Seriously! She isn’t talking about shit really. But since I'm a "good friend" I'll stay on the phone with her high ass. The weekend is almost here...Yes! I get to go home and do a little shopping...and guess whose paying? My Mother! Yahhh :D! I love shopping more when it's not my money!

[Me, Mommy, & Ilysha-my sis-]

I TOTALLY hate school right now. Like...that’s really an understatement. I hate these people. I hate being around them. I hate that they don’t have daily events like my first college had. I hate that my best friends [Ally& Reem] are sooo far away from me. I miss them. I never realized what good times we had freshman year until now. They kept me sane and laughing. I left them to come here to be closer to home and so far that’s the only positive. I hate Arkansas in general. [Ok, so we been on the phone for an hour and she just rambling about shit...yall stay away from drugs--! :)] I'm thinking about moving to Texas next year. REALLY considering. Change schools [again], find an apartment, and other things I'd have to do to get myself prepared for the move over the summer. Arkansas is just not where I want to be in my future. The ONLY factor is my family; I can't live without them--and so far away is basically being without them.
My Bestfriends and I:

[Me and Reem- I love this girl! :)]

[Me & Ally- I love this girl too! :)]

[From last halloween, we dont hv many pics of ALL of us together. Sad right?.]

So today my ex texted me. I haven’t heard from nor contacted him since the beginning of September. And all of a sudden he texts me today. It was an innocent text. "I saw your mom."[Mind you he saw her like 2-3 weeks ago but thought he should text me today to tell me.] Of course I already knew that, I was with her. No he didn’t see me and I wasn’t going to go out of my way to speak to him. I mean for what? We haven’t talked which clearly means we don’t really have shit to say. Anywho when I received the text I was kinda shocked to see his number go across the screen. But for the first time EVER, I didn’t have a rush of emotions fill my heart. Memories didn’t try to cram themselves to the front of my mind, didn’t try to find the/an underlying reason for him texting me...for the first time my reaction was normal. And, IM HAPPY! It means that I've FINALLY made progress, that I've finally at least taken one step. :)! -It's been a long time coming-! [This girl just randomly blurted out "Whoop Whoop" in the middle of our conversation.] What else is there to say? Hmmm...Um, well I was talking to a few guys...well not really "talking to them" just holding conversations with them. Yes it’s a difference. When I'm "talking" to someone that means I'm trying to get to know them as well as them trying to get to know them rather than just having pointless conversations where they are trying to get to know me but I'm not really fucked up about anything they have to say..At all. Yeah, haven’t found anyone really worth investing my time in. I refuse to end up the same love lost position I've been in for the last year again. Absolutely REFUSE! [She has said Hello about 2564 times since we've been on the phone. That's like the most frustrating thing ever.]....I miss my sisters. I miss them so dearly. I love my little darlings and can’t wait to see them tomorrow! They really bring happiness to my life. Oh...we've been moving for what seems like a year [4 months], Ughhh I want this to be over. [Reem just said "Earlier I felt like I was walking on marshmallows."...wtf? Lol!] Ughhh, I'm just ready to see my mother back to her usual crazy self. She calls me every day and vents about life...when she never even talked to me when we stayed in the same house. I’m happy about this as well. She is probably the craziest woman you could ever meet, but I don’t know where I'd be without her. I love her and owe her my life!

[Nika -my lil sis-& I]

[Bad pic, but My sisters & I !]

[lol, Me and my sissy's---OLD pic clearly!!]

Random: Oh, how I miss my Meech---He's my brother now! :) .Oh, I guess since I shouted out everyone else--there is this guy who wants to be with me. Who wants me say "I love you" [the horrid forbidden words] to him so bad, and that is something I just can’t do. Like I said I REFUSE to be back in that shitty love lost position. He’s cool though...probably knows more about me than any other guy. And he ACTUALLY accepts me flaws and all...I've never truly had that. But I have serious trust issues. I need to find someone to talk to. I would tell yall a way I handle not trusting anyone enough to talk to them, but yall would probably think I was crazy. And maybe I am, but just a little.

[An ancient pic of My Meech -brother from another other mother-and I :)]

[Me, My sister, and my Antionne-cousin-]

[AND me :D]

Yeap...I'll be back to my venting post...Don’t fret. Until next time though...Toodles!

Just another YouTube video:

Yo.
Okay so I know this video is SUPER old. And I'm sure most of you have seen it. Most of you have probably even laughed about it. But for some reason I just don't find it funny:
[This post is in NO way to offend those who actually find this funny.. and if you're going to take offense to MY opinion you might want to leave now...ok, you've been warned! :)]



While watching it I was thinking “Oooh I wish my child would...” What does a parent think when they see their child behaving like this. Why would any parent condone it? Do they think it's cute?! Do they say "Aww, his little foul mouth is sooo cute, let's put it on YouTube so that everyone can see how cute he is"? I just don’t get it. If it were my child they would have a severe ass whooping. And I promised that I wasn’t going to even whoop my child when they came...but I'm slowly changing my mind on that. Anywho...this is not appropriate behavior for a child. Hell, it's not cute on anyone. Not me, not anyone. When in public my cursing is very minimal, but chilling with my girls and writing I’m as bad as a sailor. I'm vulgar; I don’t take pride in that. [But then again I don’t really give a fuck.] I know when to control it; I know when to hold my tongue. I know that cursing doesn’t get my point across...and I know how to be VERY professional. Anyway the comments on this video are either about how funny he is how sad it is, or race. Why is everything on YouTube turned into a race issue? There are white people on there saying " And people wonder why I hate Niggers.' or shit like “This has just set you niggers back 100 more years." Then black people come back saying shit like " Fuck off you racist white trash cracker. Who the fuck told you to comment." Now all of these statements are completely RACIST. The white people had no right to comment saying Nigger this and that, and the black people calling them racist while calling them white trash crackers exhibits racism as well. It’s ridiculous. Personally it bothered me that the child was black. Just because he was portraying pure ignorance and I did not approve. But if it were a white child I would have disapproved just as much. A child is a child. Now of course race issues make me mad. EXTREMLY the shit pisses me off. No matter what the race, racism is unacceptable. It doesn’t matter if the child is black or white, why must everything be divided down to a race issue now days?! ...Oh and why do people think it’s cool to be internet bullies?

My comment on this video was: "This is beyond sad! He istoo young to be speaking like that. Its extremely disrespectful....his parents are probably ashamed!"
Someone responded: SHUT THA FHUKK UP ITS JUST A MOVIE GAHHHLY LET THE LIL BOY BE..HE MAKIN MONEY WHILE U SITTIN YO ASS ON THA COMPUTER JUDGIN PEOPLE THATS PROBABLY MAKIN MORE MONEY THAN U DO!! wanna talk shit....
Me: Regardless of how much money he is making, his behavior is still sad and unacceptable for a child! & the parents still should be ashamed! Children should not behave like this; it especially bothers me that it happens to be a black child! He should have been taught better. He should KNOW better and DO better! Stop acting so ignorant! & regardless of your opinion, this isn’t cute! MY OPINION...point blank...period!

He then proceeded to send me a message saying I was a dumb bitch that needed to get a life and stop hating...that among many others foul things because of MY OPINION on a video. [& may I mention while calling me a "dumb bitch" he managed to spell 75% of his words wrong. But I’m the dumb bitch?]. Internet shit starters are bitches to me. It’s stupid to get into a full blown argument with someone on the internet. Because regardless at the end of the argument the two people are still going to disagree. Others commented as well saying if I didn’t like it I shouldn’t watch it. I came across this video on accident, not expecting him to be cursing when I pressed play. I did not watch it again after the first time and yes, I felt the need to express my opinion. It wasn’t in a rude way, wasn’t calling none of those YouTube idiots out or anything. I simply stated my opinion and moved on. And dude gave his opinion on my thoughts, which would have been fine but the way he responded was as ignorant as the video. Anywho leave me your comments and tell me your thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, I want to hear it all! :) Until next time...Toodles!

What gives you the right?!

Yo.

Today I was going to discuss more sappy relationship shit. Today I was going to be all in my feelings and discuss my problems. I didn’t feel like ranting about anything UNTIL I was browsing through blogs and saw just something unacceptable in my opinion. [I don’t remember her blog address but this is in response to her.]
She posted this picture that she found on facebook:


She said that this was one of her facebook friends. She also stated that 'her friends were being nice and could only find her shoes to comment on, not one had the decency to give her criticism'. And since they were holding back the truth she took it upon herself to "be real" by saying "Babe, you're big. Cover up."

............What the fuck? Who says shit like that...who writes shit like that on peoples pictures?! Now the reason this bothers me soo much is just because she said "you’re big". Was that really necessary?--She should have just said cover up...but throwing in that "your big" just makes her inconsiderable. I’m not a small girl so this really gets under my skin. [Read my "Since when does small equal sexy?" post *HERE* to learn more on my weight issue! ] It really pissed me off reading it. I mean who the fuck are you to think you have the authority to say this to this girl? Her point was to discuss why people hold back their true feelings? Why do people hesitate to comment if they disagree? Well...probably so that they won’t come off looking like the inconsiderate asshole. To keep the peace. I'm not a follower of the whole “If you don’t have anything nice to say don't say it at all." phrase. BUT if you gone sit and say some mean ass shit be as nice as possible. And that shit just wasn’t cool. I mean personally if someone left me a comment like that on one of my pictures we would have a HUGE problem. Not for saying that I’m big, but just for being a bitch bold enough to test me on facebook. Now I personally want to know the girls response to “Babe, you're big. Cover up."! I really want to know what she said. I hope she just laughed it off and marked her as childish, because that for damn sure was not a mature way to handle the situation.

People hold back because it’s a sign of maturity. You can’t always spit out what’s going through your mind...sometimes it has to be censored. I’m saying this shit and I’m as bitchy as they come. Censoring what’s in your mind before it comes from your mouth is a sign of maturity. I understand writing about it in your blog and rambling on the subject there but actually having the huge nuts to say that to that girl...Who the fuck are you to go there?! ....My response to the subject was:

"Hmm, I was definitely with you on previous post I've read. But this one. No ma'am. Everyone isn’t going to be a stick figure. Weight is a touchy subject for women and that comment alone was insensitive and could have definitely destroyed her. Ouch. She could stand to wear a higher waist skirt, but saying she’s big and cover up? Come on now, that’s just crazy. AND she isn’t even that big, just has excess stomach. If she is confident enough to wear it, I say she flaunt it, without having people tear her down about it. That’s just like someone telling a thin girl she needs ass to wear short shorts...or bigger breast to wear certain tops. They already know there flaws, if they are comfortable in their skin let them do them!"

Now, I’m not smashing 'Ms Dufa'. I don’t agree with her choice on this blog topic...she could have had better taste in what she said to that girl. The rest of her topics I agree with, and she has a pretty nice site. [BTW I found the address---Visit her*HERE*!] She also made a good point. "When most people want to comment on your post and it’s contrary to your opinion or public opinion, they'll comment as anonymous. Why? Is it the fear that the person will retort or not visit your blog again or that the person's followers will attack you. I just don't get it." --I think it’s just because people don’t want to tear other bloggers down. No sense in destroying them. Now me, ya'll can comment whatever. If you agree, cool. If you don’t, cool. I know people aren’t always going to agree but I look forward to hearing the two different opinions on my topics! I never write anonymous whether I agree or disagree because there is always a nice way to say that you disagree. ALWAYS! Am I the only one that thinks this was out of place? Where is the line between being real and being just plain rude?! Ok, until next time...Toodles.

Yesterday...

Yo.
Welcome to all my lovely new followers. Because I'm not really in the mood to talk shit today, I'll post a poem written by yours truly.!

[..Yesterday..]

"Im done."
...With?
"You."

Simple.
As simple as it gets.
...still my mind rushed to bring meaning to these words.
My heart paused...paused because I knew exactly what it meant.
The simplest way to break up with someone...I knew that it was over.

It feels like yesterday...it's been a year, but still everyday feels like yesterday.
...with everyday being yesterday, have I really moved on?
...
I wake up this morning yearning to talk to you,to tell you how far I've come.
To brag...to prove...
but there is nothing to prove.
I wish I could tell you that I've moved on.
I wish I could tell you that I was happy...as you.

Yeah...Ive grown,
Yeah...I'm more mature,
Yeah...I've done all this great shit mentally because of our outcome
...But emotionally?...Emotionally its still yesterday.
I wish yesterday would stop being today.

Simply put I miss you.
I know that this is best...but still I miss you.
Is this where I'm supposed to be?
...too scared to try again, too scared to love?
am i supposed to resent those who try?
am i supposed to...still love you?

It feels like yesterday...it's been a year, but still everyday feels like yesterday.
...with everyday being yesterday, have I really moved on?
...

Yea, i wrote this after the whole "It's been a year" post. [If you missed it, check it out ---> *HERE*]. Don't worry I'll be back to my shit talkin self soon! Until next time...Toodles!