They pretty much adore me :)

Saturday, April 3

I'm just so tired.

Yo.
Me & her relationship....remains rocky.
& somethings I try soo hard to hold in but I am unable!

All to familiar yelling.
A few punches to the face.
Tears stream from my eyes.
Shock on your face.
You want to know why tears are rollng down my face?
You want to know why I'm crying this time...
What makes this time different from all the others?
Psychically...I feel nothing. Repeatedly
But mentally?...I'm breaking down.

Does it make you feel better when you hit me?
Does it set all of your anger free?
What pushes you to think...that I am a punching bag?
What drives you to feel relief after you bruise me?
How much damage have I done to deserve this?
....& when will it end?

Because frankly...I'm tired.

Bruised face...swollen eyes,
But I tell myself that it will be okay.
It usually is.
Where else would the anger go if not to me?
Who would have to recieve it if not me?

But this time, I am tired.

Tired of the threats,
....the mood swings
....the bruises
Tired that you never apologize.
You think it's okay.
You think because you are my shelter...
that you've purchased this punching bag.

But today, I'm just so tired Mama.
Too Tired.

6 comments:

pennanddpaperr . said...

wowwwwww.. that was DEEEP.

*looks like somebody else should do April Poetry Month :)

Supastarrr said...

DAMN that was heavy! smh

Cook.ThePoet. said...

Yea this is some crazy ish
Deep forreal
Wow

-Cook.ThePoet.

Shay said...

Wow . I felt that one .

Ro said...

The poem...too much for me chick...I cant be exploring these feelings at work..LOL
Nice.
And yes that is on purpose. I took comments off because I got a couple that made me think someone I knew was reading it. and sometimes people say shit just to get a rise outta you. I might add the comments back though...you know how that is. Thanks for checking in on me!

JStar said...

This is deep Robyn....I had a similar situation with my father...but it was sexual abuse...But he minds well bruised my eyes, because my heart can never mend....Ok, I am crying now...