They pretty much adore me :)

Tuesday, January 26

Whats the difference?

Yo.
So I was browsing through Single Black Male and one of his readers left an interesting question under one of his post. The post was saying all types of things that I just didnt agree with. i.e : "If you’re standing in a party and your female friends leans notices you looking at a girl and she says, “That girl is a ho.” If she’s pointing to you, you’re a ho." Or...she could be just one hating ass female that doesnt even know you?...Had that shit happen to me before...def was ready to hurt this ignorant chick that knew nothing about me....ANYWHO that is def not what i came to write about. The website above is actually a really good website and I encourage you all to go check it out.! So the question one of his readers left was as follows:
What’s the difference between being “sexually liberated” and being a hoe?


Hmmm, I really just want to hear my readers opinions on this question. I've always wondered this. When asked what was my definition of a hoe...I used to respond " Someone who sleeps with any and every one and never has any standards."...That was my old response. Now? Now it has changed a little completly due to the fact that i dont have a definition for the word anymore. I have always been open minded to what people do behind closed doors...I have always thought if you like it then do it, no one should look down on or talk about what another does sexually if it has nothing to do with them. I hardly use the word in a serious manner..If and when i have used it Its expressing serious dislike for a girl who fucks with peoples boyfriends/husbands/ and anyone else that will tell her she is remotely attractive..basically the ones sleeping around bc they have self esteem issues. BUT I mean how would i really know if ole girl/guy had "no standards" as listed in my definition. Even if he/she had slept with 150 people [random ass number and I know a few guys who claim this is their goal...and shit they close enuff. smh]there is always at least one dick/pussy they have turned down or walked away from. So who am I to really sit around and judge them? I still believe people should have all the sexual freedom they want...but I admit sometimes hearing that people are fucking 3 different dudes a week [from their mouths...im nt the one to believe he say/ she say] bothers the hell out of me. I just dont think thats anything to brag on...but if they like it and are happy with themselves that really gives me no place to go around judging them. I dont know the difference between a hoe and someone sexually liberated! I guess Hoe is just the trashy version of someone sexually liberated...but how can they be the trashy version if their doing the same thing?  If they like having every hole filled and 7 dudes in line watching and waiting for their turn..thats them. It has nothing to do with me unless one of those niggas was my man. Nope..nothing at all to do with me.! If people want to get down like that and thats truley what turns them on..more power to them. So readers...in your opinion, "What’s the difference between being “sexually liberated” and being a hoe?"!

12 comments:

Secretia said...

I can't really say more than it's the number of partners that's the factor, and if we do it for money or other rewards...

Secretia

NightFall914 said...

In my view first of all "hoe" is a sex neutral term. It works for both men and women.

I think the difference is a matter of "how" you conduct your self and not just what you do.

If your sexual interaction with a person comes after getting to known and having a relationship of some type then its your right as an adult to do what you do. If the majority of your acts are one night stand,club jump offs, etc then that's lacking some clear mature decision making.

Sexually liberated to me is just a term use to make random sex seem more socially acceptable. Who's being liberated? And from what? You were never being forced to do anything so you really weren't liberated from anything.

Plus if your really smart with your decisions no one would know your business anyway.

aimes said...

...I agree with the person above. If you really think about it--- no one would know your business unless one of the two parties is broadcasting it. What I really hate (well use to, I don't care anymore since it does not pertain to me) is the way *hoe* is used so freely for females than for males. In college we debated on why it was ok to categorize a female as one, and not so much for a male.

---anywho, to each their own.

Traci Lavette said...

Girl! Good question to ask. It's probably one of those age-old questions b/c there are so many thin lines here...in my opinion, anyway.

So...Sexually liberated versus a Hoe
Sexually liberated is knowing who you are and what you want sexually, going after it, but choosing carefully how you proceed. Simply because you are liberated and are playing by your own terms. Liberated is that "free from fear" factor. Free from the fear of caring about the acceptance, free from the fear that you are not good enough, free from the fear that you don't know how to please a man - and self-please, if necessary.

A hoe. Well, that would be the chick that gives it up simply because. Because he got a big dick, because he is somebody's man, because he took her to the movies, because he showed her just the right amount of attention, because her self-esteem is low and she needs to prove her worth. Because, because, because. This is the one that is fuckin for free...free of emotion, free of receiving any real time, free of a second look beyond what's between her legs or how deep her throat is.

Now...here's one of those thin lines. You could have the sexually liberated female who does what she does simply b/c she can, but her preference is to be free of all the attachments so she is just on autopilot.

I've been that girl, but do I consider myself a hoe? Not at all. Did I get confusing here? LOL!

Shay said...

That's a tough question . I think it all depends on who you're asking , but I would have to say a hoe is determined by the number of sexual partners you have had in the matter of time that you have had time . if someone tells me they fucked 25 people in a month i'ma look at them crazy and think in my head , " now thats a hoe "

xxxx said...

the term "hoe" which is not even a word the proper word is whore is nothing more than a word like "gold digger" to make people feel bad about what they do. no one person is a whore just like no one is truly a gold digger. its like society built this notion that certain things should be conducted in a certain manner i.e sex. so when one goes out and do her/his thing on their own term they are automatically labeled and looked at as "hoe". lets be real if one person is a hoe then we all are hoes. dont matter if you have slept with one person or 150.

F said...

Wow... I don't know... This is one of those things we claim we know but then find it hard to explain...

Well, I think there is a difference between a confident woman who knows what she wants in and out of the bedroom and one who just fucks around for fuck's sake. So, I guess the difference is the motive. If you do it because you are going after what you want, then I guess you are sexually liberated. If it's all about looking for a fuck, then you are probably a nymphomaniac ass hoe, lol.

With that being said, though... I do agree with the earlier comment that "sexually liberated" is sometimes used to cover for hoe tendencies. Which just makes the distinction a whole lot more confusing...

kN0CkiNDAb00tz said...

I don't think its cool to judge other people and their sex lives. Some women just like the whole booty call thing and don't want to be bothered with fucking wit a nigga relationship wise.

I'm just saying because if a girl wants to have sex with .... 200 people or whateva, as long as it is safe and not just picking some dude off the middle of the road and trying to fuck him right then, its ok. You don't know what that nigga got.

I only think a hoe is when the girl is a homewrecker. One thing to not fck wit is taken men. Thats not cool.

pennanddpaper said...

i first have to say in no way do i think its okay to judge a person for how they get it in. what might work for one person might not work for another.

as far as the hoe vs sexually liberated thing i agree with Traci Lavette completely.

she pretty much covered my thoughts. lol

Kia Poison said...

GREAT GREAT POST. I think that haters invented the word ho. And, our generation is no longer clean cut. We are free, and the women in our generation are the new men. We make more money, we are strong willed, and we prey on men rather than victimize ourselves for their judgements. We do what we like, when we like, and how we like. There is no such thing as a ho in my books. bitches, take the dick..dont let it shut you down out of fear what the next bitch thinks. When she calls you a ho at the party..tell her shes just mad that her pussy is withered up and dehydrated!

Shandra E...*the misses said...

the difference is MENTALITY/psyche, moral conduct, motives/intent, discrete character, etc...

it's like saying what's the difference between being civilized and uncivilized??? One person is following social norms and living within the boundaries to meet certain acceptable standards...while the other person is not??!

Can we call the latter person "liberated"?? SURE...but we can also call a serial killer/mass murderer the same?! whether we like/admit it or not, there are certain rules and restraints to Life! battered people, both men & women, tend to break those rules...& it has NOTHING to do with "Liberation"....in most cases, they are the very ones In Chains...bound to some past??!! & perhaps some aspect of their life has them wounded and numb...nonchallant and "carefree"...


& i agree, there's nothing one can DO (per se) in terms of sexuality, to be rightfully classified a Hoe. & there's no specific look...


GREAT QUESTION!!! I'm not sure i even agree with myself yet (sometimes i just Think/figure stuff out OUT LOUD?!) lol...so yep, great discussion/provocative topic!!

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

i think a hoe/whore is a term that can be loosely described. there are many qualifiers that can justify someone as a hoe.

i'm saying. to me it's someone with little to no moral value. whether it's using sex for money, favors, or selfishness. the point where sex is being had by a person who isn't emotionally vested or morally single, you're a hoe. male or female.

yes, men violate this more often (at least they admit it) then women. but being sexually liberated is understanding that you're only be liberating with something that is yours. if you're in a relationship. if you use trickery (playing with other's emotions, for money, for promotions, etc) then you're a hoe.

if you have no problem admitting that sex is nothing to you but money, favors, or ass..then you should be able to admit that you are a hoe.