Sunday, February 7
I'm not a big fan of people picking at themselves... but everyone knows their flaws.
I have the tendency to shut people out. ALL people. No matter how close I'm supposed to be with someone ,I wont say too much of anything. My best friends for example: I hardly go to them when I have a problem. They come to me and ask whats wrong....even then I hardly share. & It's not that I dont feel comfortable with them, most times I just rather stress alone. & Most times people can't and won't say the right things to make it better or make it go away. It eventually becomes a huge downfall and ultimately the demise of my serious relationships. Im kind of backwards though. When I'm just "in-like" with someone I wont hold my tongue on anything. Meaning everytime they say something I have my input and a story to relate..but as soon [and i do mean AS SOON] as I start to like them a tad bit more I completly shut down. I dont share life stories and experiences and I hardly share my opinion on too much of anything. When asked important questions relating to emotion I can not answer them outloud...but I could write them in a heartbeat. I could put most of my feelings in a long ass txt or letter and send it. [which i hardly do]...but my effort of writting to open up goes unnoticed. If i cant verballly open up to them...things seem to go wrong. Which i understand, you cant really have a txt relatinship. but...i dont know hw to fix it; i dont know how to open up without writting. I tried again and again...but nothing works. I dont like people completly inside of my head. I really hope to overcome this because I'm sure it will continue to be nothing but an extreme problem. Any tips? Ok....Toodles!