It's been a WHILE, scratch that... It's been a long ass time.

I think...
that maybe...
Well,

*whispers*....I love him.

Him, being the last known new guy.
His name?
Kenon.
My new Cancer.
My homie.
My lover.
My...boyfriend.

Wow. It still feels funny saying that. My boyfriend...! It's been FOREVER since the last actual boyfriend. October 2008 to be exact.

It feels so heavenly. I can't describe how happy he makes me, already. He makes me feel secure. I love being wrapped in his arms...love looking at him. Love trying to figure out how his mind works, love being in his presence. He makes me feel better whenever I'm having one of those days where nothing seems to be right. Nothing but him.

I'm eager to see how this journey with him plays out. Eager to learn all that I can about him. Eager to advance.

But most importantly, eager to leave my past where it is.

I finally found someone that acts as more than a distraction. He's my main focus, emotionally. And it feels damn good.

Pure bliss.
Maybe things are lovely because it's still the beginning...but instead of trying to figure out how this will end, like I always do, I'm going with the flow. Living in the now with him. And I can't get enough.

I'm still guarded, for the most part.
But, I want him to know all of me.
Every single thing.

He's amazing.
His level of care and concern...surpasses the rest.
And with him, my feelings are handled so delicately.
He knows they're fragile.
I understand him and all his weirdness, and he understands and accepts me.

I could go on...
But, I don't want to jinx this one.

*crosses fingers*, I hope this last.