Can I tell you something?...

Today, I'm doing a 10-1. Things have changed since my first one....

Remember, the 10 to 1 is basically writing down the 10 things I wish I could say to 10 different people but...cant, won't or just haven't. And I don't say who they are :)



To the woman that my prayers have always been reserved for:
Quick tempers.
Sugarless words.
Frequent fists.
Replaying in my new found years of maturity. Years of understanding. Perfection was expected; nothing less accepted. Love disguised by a desire to breed the best. For then, for now, for the future...thank you, I needed it, all.

To my title-less love, the man of my frequently subconscious desires:
part of me hopes this lasts forever.
Beyond forever.
This? This romance, this friendship...this bond.
You frequent my dreams and I allow those images to take control.
Even if no one else ever understands, my love is with you for this lifetime. My lifetime. Your lifetime. Remember through it all, you got me.

To the creator of all souls, the father of all minds:
I need you.
I always have.
I tend to lose sight of what is important to me...sometimes all I have is you.
All my darkest confessions lye with you.
Please help me to overcome the things I can't seem to shake. Keep me guided in the right direction...and if I start to stray please reach down and remind me where I'm headed.

To the new man, slowly trying to tip-toe into my heart:
Be careful. I am broken, handle me with care.
Be patient for those times that I forget that someone loves me.
Fight harder in those times when I will push you away.
Communicate and trust me. I am stronger than I appear.
& remember: I no longer believe in fairy tales.

To the one before the last,"something to do when there's nothing to do"... Number 9 if you will:
I hope you knew what it was when we started.
I hope you knew that I was only interested in one thing...and for your sake I hope you were too.
It wasn't what I'm used to, no where near it. So I'm over it. You had your one shot... and my thoughts?
On to the next...

To the past, the one's who never made it:
It takes a certain type of person to deal with me.
You didn't measure up.
Or maybe it was I..I who didn't measure up. 
It's not your fault...it never was.
I'm sorry.
Part of me wishes, the smallest part---that something would have worked. That maybe I wouldn't be so scarred,...so close to heartless.

To the neglected spirit of my genes:
I have been acting as if you never existed.
I used to speak to you everyday when you first left me,
Correction: When you first came back in my life for eternity.
Somewhere between this hell and heaven, my words got lost.
Maybe I'm ashamed to still be in the same place...
I love you. & I know these genes weren't passed on to become nothing.
Next time I speak with you, I will be doing better. No excuses.

To the one soul that may possess the most faith in me:
My personal little angel.
Thank you for always being here...even when my emotions surpass alone.
Thank you for having my back when the world turned theirs.
Thank you for loving me, unconditionally.
& Thank you most for encouraging me to be better, better than anyone expected. With my heart, mind,and soul...I love you.

To the one who I am supposed to confide to:
Sometimes, I don't want to talk about serious issues.
Too worried that I'm being judged for certain situations.
And I know...I know I shouldn't feel like it.
I know I should just rant and ramble my life away..
that is what your here for. But sometimes...I just don't want to.
Sometimes I rather write, write where I can't be judged


To the root of it all, the over-analyzer... the corrupt dreamer:
We've come along way.
I've watched as we've grown from naive little girl, to a beautiful knowledge-seeking young lady.
The things that were once important to you, have been replaced by real issues.
The things that you never understood are suddenly becoming clear as day. We have a long journey, this is only the beginning. Continue to grow. When we look back on it all, hopefully our dreams will have finally become reality. And I'll look at you with my best smile and nod " You go girl."

Sincerely,

The mind of the dreamer with the corrupt heart, who has finally been pry-ed open

Addicted. Just another nympho freak.

Yo.

I want you to understand how hard this is for me.
How hard it is...going without it.

Me?
I'm addicted to orgasms.
Addicted to the rush of energy through my body.
The release of all the tension of my day.
Addicted to the sense of calmness it brings me.

Pause.
Maybe you're wondering why I didn't say that I was just addicted to sex.
Maybe you think I mean sex.

No.
I mean I am fully addicted to orgasms.

See me...I've never cum during sex.
I've never had an orgasm from intercourse.
Never.

And as much as I LOVE sex, I can go without.
Orgasms...I cannot.

I have to have at least one a day.
But I usually have two.
Self pleasure is a necessity for me.

I've gone through extreme lengths just to...cum.
Even when I'm getting dicked down on a regular, I still have to assist myself daily.

So in a sense, I'm addicted to masturbating.
Because I'm the only one who knows how to make me squirt.
How to make it trickle slowly from my sugar walls.


I can do it in 2 minutes,
or serenade myself for hours.

But self-pleasure only makes me crave sex more.
Crave to be filled in ways only another could do.
No plastic.
I want to feel the throbbing inside of me.
Want him to be able to feel me when I clench my walls around it,
Hear him telling me how good it feels.
Wrapping my mouth around the warm beautiful brown skin...
feeling it pulsate as it builds up...
Knowing that I'm working for his nutt.
Knowing that this pussy has him addicted.
All things that a plastic dick cannot do for me.


I have a problem.
I'm addicted to orgasms.
Orgasms brought by myself.
And orgasms make me feind for sex.

Maybe I'm just a nympho...who isn't getting enough.

Counting down the days...

Yo.
I'm not really sure when EXACTLY he's coming home.
But I know that it's soon.
Soon, and I cannot wait to see his face.

I adore him, in every sense of the word.
I'm sure he won't really agree with my decision, but it's better than nothing. I'm ready for these fantasies to be taken care of. To begin this plutonic friendship after the fun is over.
It's crazy.
He's been the only dick in me for almost the past 3 years.
Last one besides him was the ex.
Valentines day 2009.
Since then, it's only been him.

Maybe that's why I don't really care to branch out.
Find replacement dick.
Because I'm completely satisfied with him.

Unless I can get a guarantee that the next will do it like him,or better...I don't want it.
I don't even want to try.

But there is absolutely no way in hell that I will limit myself to dick only when he visits.
That would mean that I would be celibate for majority of the year...with maybe 2 visits from him.

Fuck no, right now that sounds insane.
But it only SOUNDS insane.

I've gone without it for the last 5 months.
Waiting...for him to come back. Isn't that crazy?

I've needed it.
NEEDed it.
& I don't just want to go out and find random dick.
Nor do I really want a relationship or to be in love with anyone else.
The problem. I only want him, so the option of someone else has become non-existent.

But my sex drive is too high for me to continue doing this.
Because if I had the option to fuck him EVERYday I would.
Every morning.
Every night.
Surprise mid-day sex.
Smh, I wish I could go back to a time when all of that was an option.
We'd bang like rabbits.

When he gets here, I need to have all of my fantasies in order. I only want him to fulfill them. And if this is going to be the last few times, then I need to make it count.

Counting down the days...
The hours, the minutes, ...the seconds.

Phone Sex :X..blah!

Yo.
So a fellow blogger,Khaki, is having a "30 Day Quest to Phone Sex" over on her blog--> [*Not All Baltimore Chicks are Stupid*]. She's attempting to perfect her lack of skills at phone sex. Swear it is hella entertaining...and if you haven’t checked her blog out...What the hell are you waiting for?

Anywho her post got me thinking on the whole phone sex thing...and how much I totally despise it! The purpose of phone sex is an alternative form of pleasure when you’re not really in that person’s presence. But for me...that shit does nothing but leave me irritated as hell. I used to participate just for the satisfaction of the guy...It used to be interesting to hear their reactions...and the shit they say to continue my "fantasy" I’m describing at the moment. I assume they all just love hearing the nasty fantasy filled words escaping my mouth. They enjoy the fake moaning, the thought that I’m actually masturbating while on the phone...I always wondered were the guys on the other side really jacking off to the sound of my voice. Well my slightly altered voice. *Softened voice, light moans building to loud moans...as if dick were really being delivered to me.*Or were they acting like me? Either way...they enjoyed it, and I'd like to think I was damn good at it. My moans alone would leave me in a state ready to...*clears throat*, ... I mean I have a way with my words that could make any freak horny....

*excerpt from the OTHER blog:*
Hello, My name is [insert alter ego name here], Ms.Extacee if you nasty. Would you like a quickie? --Excuse me, I meant would you like to fuck me senseless?...Ready?.....

Go.
[Insert the nasty beggining that I think is too raunchy for this blog]....
Let me put my pretty pussy on your face. Mmmm, yes that's right daddy [mami] , lick it like you own it. Stick that tongue in deep, flick it rapidly over my clit...and don’t forget to slightly nibble. Yes, I love that shit. Show me that you have the skills I yearn for. Make sure you grip my ass, roughly...Please. Oooooh, dig your nails into my ass....[continued with the extra raunchyness.]

& those are the cleanest line I could find on that post. Point proven?...Anywho,Back to the point!
I enjoyed phone sex the firsttime i tried it. It was a bit awkward but I wasnt the one doing all the talking, he basically just wanted to hear me moan. Interesting..but then it just got really boring for me. The constant request to have phone sex...the constant irritation I am left with & the pleasure I am left without. Why participate in something that makes me crave dick even more...just to hear the sound of someone’s voice while you’re supposedly pleasing yourself? And some have talked up some extra nasty shit [Yes, I love nasty!]...leaving me moist and ready to walk to get the dick.

I no longer participate in phone sex...If the only thing I get from it is left in an even worse horny position than I started...I just see no point. You want an alternative? How about I send a few pics...or a video? But as far as that phone sex thing, I retired a while ago...so sorry bruh, call a hotline or some other shit. What are your thoughts on phone sex? To participate or not to participate?...Ok, Toodles!

Hello, My name is Random, Bytch :x

Yo.

Writers block is kicking my ass today. I’ve started 5 poems today and have yet to finish one. I was trying to get a late start on participating in poetry month...but clearly that shit just isn’t working out for me. I only write well when something is on my mind bothering me. Or giving me a feeling of complete bliss. And today neither is really going on. Today I am blank as a canvas ready to be painted on. Hmm, reminds me that I haven’t painted in a while. I keep telling myself that I want to paint a picture of my father holding me...but I just can't bring myself to do that...not now. I don’t want a tear drenched painting. I want it to be happy, joyful...and I have a beautiful effect to add to it...whenever I finish it. Well whenever I start it. I painted a total of 3 pictures of the ex. I think I’m going to discard them today...I no longer wish to look at them. They no longer mean anything to me. I should be happy about that but I'm really indifferent. It took an eternity to get over him...and now that I'm finally here...past eternity, what next? Someone new right? But what if I don’t feel like going to someone new either? The fact that I really don’t want anyone in my life right now scares me too. Scares me because I have to wonder have I given up on love so early? What happened to that love obsessed girl...the one who believed in fairytales? The one who dreamed of nothing more than possessing all the love in the world...what happened to her? I want her back.

My mind is drowning in the thoughts of sex. But giving up on celibacy feels like such a huge decision now that I've went so long. Seems like I'd regret it if I gave up just for some reliable mind blowing dick. *sigh*...Mind-blowing, back-breaking, pussy-aching...lovely dick. [Comes back from my building fantasy]...Where was I? Oh yea, celibacy. It's somewhat easy to not really act on impulse because I have to remember that I don’t want to be wanted for my pussy. If we break up and you contact me telling me how much you miss me...and my pussy?...I just don’t wanna hear it. Just miss me...my inner beauty, not how my pussy feels.

Shit, I need a nice trip to Mars. Yes...that would be lovely right now. Make a phone call and have someone deliver me some good. Lol...delivery pharmacist. But I gave that up too...I’m making so many sacrifices...they all better be worth it in the end. I'm trying to be a better person. Trying to grow...I'm making minimal progress. I recently started reading my bible every day. I was sitting in church wondering why I had never taken the time out to read the whole thing...I mean I read sooo many books for pleasure but haven’t even read half of the bible. A big part of that having to do with all the questions I am left with...all the stuff that I just can't and won’t believe...But that is for a completely different post. A bunch of random shit is running through my mind right now...taking a pit stop to discuss all of them would take forever. Besides...I think I feel like starting my painting now. Toodles.

[-Surprise-]: Welcome, Formspring, Blogger Quote..and all that jazz

Yo.

Yes, there are limits too the questions I will actually "answer" in formspring. I will always "respond" but I will not necessarily answer the question at hand. EVERYthing doesnt need to be discussed over the internet! Ok? Especially not on my personal blog.

For those who don't follow me on twitter I recently had a mini confessional tweet session. & during the tweet session i admitted having a sex blog. A sex blog that I shut down yesterday. Some of my followers from there have decided to click the link I left there and follow me here...[*whispers: Hello playmates*]. I had 4 blogs to keep every aspect of my life seperate. One is a diary..only I can access. One is a confessional blog..and the other beside this one was the sex blog.I started it to discuss all things sexual without judgement from those who read my blog from my hometown. Without everyone knowing my business...to that extent. But since I'm "celibate" I decided to let that one go. It was fun while it lasted.

I started that blog after this one, only had 28 post on that blog, and got up to 307 followers. The anonymous twitter account I had to link up with the sex blog got up to 904 followers in the short time I had it. Crazy right? Sex sells. Sells people to quickly push the follow button. Intrest people more than everyday life and life situations. I felt that blog was too easy. Too easy for people to be interested. Too easy...for people to really care about the substance in my writting...therefore I lost interest.The followers of this blog follow because they want to read what I have to say on a daily..without it being "raunchy", they have a sincere interest in my words. & i love you all for that. I will occasionally mix the two blogs..but to the "playmates", this blog will never be that blog...EVER!

I'm going to start doing a " Blogger Quote of the Week" type thing. When I read other blogs some words just really stand out to me..and lately its been two bloggers...one of which I recently discovered! :) Anywho..I'm going to collect a few quotes throughout every week from different blogs..and feature just that quote on my blog! :) For starters:

"To the emerald eyes of a mystery, when will you tell me what you want from me? if we played Scrabble would you at least spell it out for me?"--- Gwen [*Her Blog*] Check her out.

I love ALL of my followers. Thanks for even taking the time to look at the contents of my blog!... Toodles!

Withdrawals are a BITCH!

Yo.
When I started this whole "celibacy" thing I really didnt think I'd last this long. I mean..I KNOW me..and umm....I just thought I would have given in by now. AND surprisingly...I havent. I should be writting this post in a month and a few days..bc It will mark my 1 year mark, but um...right now I'm having withdrawals. Sex has always taken up a big portion of my thoughts! For the pure pleasure of my partner... And now...now that Im without it..Its worse than ever. & to make things worse my thoughts only revolve around one dick.

Setting up the scene mentally:
[Might wanna skip over this part.idk..all I know is it's my blog and I say whatever the hell I please :)!]

*Dial his number and get straight to the point*----
" I know I dont even contact you anymore...but lately I've been missing you. Well missing HIM. SHE needs HIM in her....delivering like HE usually does. I need to taste HIM...Ive just missed HIM so much! ...Need your tongue to lap HER up....Damn, its an understatement to say I crave it. Honey..Did I ever tell you you were the best? So...Get out of your plans with your girl and come fulfill my fantasies like only you can. One night honey, no one has to know but you and I....and my camera. Ohhhhh, Did I mention I wanna make a video?....Video so that the last time will ALWAYS be the most memorable....Video so that I can have a visual to go along with my usual thoughts of you...and NO you cant have a copy, we've already discussed that ;). When we get in the room...Call your girl and make up a lie to let her know you'll be TIED UP for the rest of the night. Clothes off...Lights dim.Tell her Goodnight and that you love her while I nibble at your ear. You already told me you miss it...Let me be the best you'll ever have.Then go home to your wife. No more calls..no more communication, Just come give me MY dick, then take your ass home well over satisfied. Muah! "
[Of coarse his response would be a non hesitant OK..Im on the way!]

[Like I said earlier skinny doesnt equal sexy...& its my blog so I do what I want! lol :)]

......Ughh...talk about fuckin frustrated.! But I respect relationships a little too much for that, so it will remain a fantasy. No homewrecking bitch here. But these withdrawals are terrible. Starting to get to me. But I know my reasons outweigh my urges..and I will continue to tell myself that to get through this with out having to make a phone call...ok Toodles!

Whats the difference?

Yo.
So I was browsing through Single Black Male and one of his readers left an interesting question under one of his post. The post was saying all types of things that I just didnt agree with. i.e : "If you’re standing in a party and your female friends leans notices you looking at a girl and she says, “That girl is a ho.” If she’s pointing to you, you’re a ho." Or...she could be just one hating ass female that doesnt even know you?...Had that shit happen to me before...def was ready to hurt this ignorant chick that knew nothing about me....ANYWHO that is def not what i came to write about. The website above is actually a really good website and I encourage you all to go check it out.! So the question one of his readers left was as follows:
What’s the difference between being “sexually liberated” and being a hoe?

Hmmm, I really just want to hear my readers opinions on this question. I've always wondered this. When asked what was my definition of a hoe...I used to respond " Someone who sleeps with any and every one and never has any standards."...That was my old response. Now? Now it has changed a little completly due to the fact that i dont have a definition for the word anymore. I have always been open minded to what people do behind closed doors...I have always thought if you like it then do it, no one should look down on or talk about what another does sexually if it has nothing to do with them. I hardly use the word in a serious manner..If and when i have used it Its expressing serious dislike for a girl who fucks with peoples boyfriends/husbands/ and anyone else that will tell her she is remotely attractive..basically the ones sleeping around bc they have self esteem issues. BUT I mean how would i really know if ole girl/guy had "no standards" as listed in my definition. Even if he/she had slept with 150 people [random ass number and I know a few guys who claim this is their goal...and shit they close enuff. smh]there is always at least one dick/pussy they have turned down or walked away from. So who am I to really sit around and judge them? I still believe people should have all the sexual freedom they want...but I admit sometimes hearing that people are fucking 3 different dudes a week [from their mouths...im nt the one to believe he say/ she say] bothers the hell out of me. I just dont think thats anything to brag on...but if they like it and are happy with themselves that really gives me no place to go around judging them. I dont know the difference between a hoe and someone sexually liberated! I guess Hoe is just the trashy version of someone sexually liberated...but how can they be the trashy version if their doing the same thing?  If they like having every hole filled and 7 dudes in line watching and waiting for their turn..thats them. It has nothing to do with me unless one of those niggas was my man. Nope..nothing at all to do with me.! If people want to get down like that and thats truley what turns them on..more power to them. So readers...in your opinion, "What’s the difference between being “sexually liberated” and being a hoe?"!

Continuing the "fuckage" after the breakup...

Yo.!

Yesterday I was talking to a close friend when she said something that just made me want to blog. We were talking about 2 couples that broke up recently. She stated how she thought it was just a plot so they would be single for Valentines' Day and that they'd hook right back up with them after that. I said something about being pretty sure that their still fucking anyway. She then said " Well duh, there's still sex! Its 2010!"..."Wth? What does that have to do with anything?"..."Everybody's doin it these days...Continuing the fuckage after the relationship"! [Sidenote: Fuckage? Yea..I def have no clue why she used that word..or made up that word either!] What kind of statement is that to be made?....A damn true one. Why once people fall out of love, make mistakes, or what the hell ever it is that breaks them up...they continue " the fuckage" after the relationship? Is it not just silly?
I know a couple who had been together a few years and broke up, claiming it was for good. A guy [an ex] stated his opinion on it. " You know she still fucking him right? Thats just so stupid. How stupid can you get. He broke up with her and she still giving him pussy?..The one thing that a lack of could possibly get them back together..She just dumb." Mind you that me and him basically had the same shit going on....but he claims our shit is different...smh. Hearing him say that was an eye opener...!I always think its a silly idea to be without the relationship title but getting all the relationship benefits. Even when I was in that same position. Its silly to continue to go out, fuck, chill, talk on the phone the same but not have a title? When situations go down like that my mind says he just wants to be a hoe. Ya'll are dating...unofficially so that he can fuck whoever without you really being able to bitch over it. But why has it become so fuckin common. Mostly every couple [i know] who has had a failed relationship have continued fucking after...unless the breakup was drastic. [& i know a few that still fuck even then]...Why?? I really would love to hear the answer to this! Does it lose a guys respect if your still fucking him afterwards..? I know girls who have said its because they would settle for having a little of him instead of losing all of him. Why though? Explain the whole continuing "the fuckage" after the relationship to me. Ive been there, done that..but still I need to get a grasp on it all!

Sex Game Proper ;)

Yo.
Okay...I started catching back up today..swear its been longer than 7 hours. But hey now I'm to the L's! I'm stopping right before Lovers and Friends: Me, My pad, and Pen. I was so tempted to skip some. I got through some of my favs today..and cant wait to get to the others....No names will be dropped! :)! Oh and I'm collecting awards on the way..but Im going to accept them all in one big post. So far its 3! :)

Anywho..It's like 2 in the morning and my mind is totally in the gutter. SO I'm going to do a Do's and Dont's to sex [for my personal preferences.]..Got the idea from Keenya! [Check her out!]

Hell Yea's

• Biting [not tht baby nibbling shit either..like vampire bites]
• Long Kisses [ all over]
• Ice,Toppings,Candy, [Candles ;)]
• Choking [pay attention til when I'm about to black out then let go ;)]
• Pull my hair [only if its MY real hair...don't try to yank tracks out!]
• Constant change of position [Be creative]
• Be rough..! [tossing on the bed, pushing on the ground...whatever!]
• Gone head lick the kitty..and be good at it!
• Stare in my eyes
• #1 priority being to make ME cum...ME ME ME!
• Be ready for Round 2!

Hell No's

• Talking [please dont give me a fuckin interview.."Whose is it? How you want it?..etc"]
• Punching
• Slapping...not even light taps
• Nutting on my face
• Eating my ass [biting is acceptable]
• Licking my toes [matter fact dont touch them at all!]
• Being stank [scrub yo nutts!]
• 1-10 minute men. [Unless its specified as a quickie]

Yea..thats all I can think of right now....! Too much info?? Well you did see that lil warning about adult content AND yo ass entered anyway...so suck that shit up! Ok, I need to be sleeping! Seriously! Toodles!

" Yea babe, you can fuck my best friend! " <--- PART 2!!! [Guest Blogger]

Yo.
Ok, so the story on the post below is missing some parts that I didnt mention. And because of that I will post it from the sorce's opinion! She has the words directly from Amanda's mouth.  So, From the voice of Reem -My bestie- ::
*[My Commentary will be bracketed and shaded like such!]*

Sharing is definitely not caring…..It’s nasty as hell! Ladies Rule #1 of the Girl Code: Don’t fuck your friend’s ex, boo, plaything, dick on the side (I think that’s the same as plaything) etc.! It’s just nasty as hell! [Nasty and trashy as hell!] Now a few people who know my situation might call me a hypocrite for sayin this. a couple of years ago, I broke the rule and I started talking to this guy that my friend was also talking to…but had I felt that he and I didn’t have a connection I NEVER would’ve talked to him! Anywho me and the girl are on cordial terms...blah blah whatever! [Lol, they situation was way different from this bullshit ass fuckery…I promise!]Now back to the topic! Here’s the scenario: Andre texted Amanda and pretty much said, “Is it ok if I fuck your best friend Yoyo?” Amanda replied, “Sure go ahead!” Now in my mind Amanda’s response was this: “Sure you can fuck my friend I don’t have any morals and she’s a hoe so you might get lucky!” [Lmao, couldnt have put it better myself!]Now a little history on Andre&Amanda they fucked around for a while about a year ago and Amanda had feelings for him, she was even about to fight her “friend” Shannon for getting “drunk” and fucking him! Shannon and her got over it and she continued to fuck Andre….Smh, these hoes today. So you guys can imagine how shocked I was to find out that she gave Yoyo and Andre permission to fuck! IN THE SAME DAMN HOUSE! Her excuse was that she no longer had feelings for Andre and he could do as he pleased! In my opinion a man is only going to do what you allow him to do! So if she says yea you can fuck my friend, he’s gonna pull his dick out and get to work! Now Yoyo was completely wrong! When Amanda came to her with this she should’ve said no I will not fuck him…I don’t get down like that! She protested for a few minutes before eventually giving in…Smh….stupid hoe! [Meaning Amanda actually talked her best friend into sleeping with her ex…wtf? I didn’t think it was possible for these hoes to get dumber.] Also in my opinion Yoyo probably wanted to fuck him from the very beginning! Now a hoe is gonna be a hoe! So if Amanda said it was ok then I guess she thought it was ok. No matter how many ways you flip the story, well Amanda said it was ok, he was just a piece of dick to her, he’s to blame, blah blah everybody was in the wrong! I believe that Amanda and Yoyo have serious self-esteem issues! I mean telling your friend she can fuck your old dick on the side is not ok! Definitely not! And agreeing to fuck your friend’s dick on the side means that you have low self-esteem and you need your ass whooped! [Girl let this had been me and you, we would have been two knocking bitches!] I don’t care if his dick was 9 inches and he had a double-jointed tongue! NO NO NO! UGH! Amanda has a problem with talking about how good her sex partner’s sex game is! If you know your friend is a hoe, don’t tell her how good your man is licking and deep stroking the kitty! She’s only going to wonder how it would feel to have him do the same things to her! [Ladies that don’t already have common sense enough to know this, this is some real ass shit...keep it between you and him if ya girl is a hoe!]These girls definitely don’t live by the girl code! Yoyo needs to go to the gynecologist and get tested! (NO WALLS) [Hell yeah, She one of the bitches that could go on a shopping spree if she had a dollar for every nigga that done hit.]She is most definitely goin' goin' gone guys….i know this for a fact! [If yall don’t know, when a girl is goin', she's a hoe fuckin with a lot of niggas!!& to think me and that trick were fucking the same guy for a LONG as time, Smh I need to slap my damn self.]Sigh….Amanda needs to get a grip on reality…Sharing is not caring…it only causes more problems…even though she said she was ok with it….deep down she probably isn’t! [If she truly is ok with it something wrong with her ass…well something deeper than her OBVIOUS issues!]Andre…well he needs to get his ass tested too! [Ughhh, definitely...I hope they used some damn condoms.]And he better not even think to ask her if he can play with my kitty! DISMISSED! BLOOP! Thank you guys for reading! Hope you enjoyed! Kisses!

[LMAO, I love how she put this whole thing! Best friends think alike. Dismissed. Bloop! Lmao!  Thoughts and Comments knowing the added information?! ]

" Yea babe, you can fuck my best friend! "

Yo.
Ok, so I was really about to take a MUCH needed nap...but I got some shit to say. Ok, this isn’t my usual rant on shit I see on facebook/YouTube/other blogs...etc. Nope, this is some real life bullshit. Ok. So there are these two girls I went to school with. [I've known them since middle school and elementary] These girls are....wait, since this is real life shit I have to use "codenames" for these silly ass brauds-YoYo and Amanda-. Ok, so these two girls are friends. Like close knit friends, they even live together. Yea it's that serious. So one is skinny as hell and the other...well she aint. So for the sake of their identity well call the skinny one YoYo, and the other one Amanda. Ok so dig this, YoYo fucked Amanda's ex boo last night. We will call him Andre....! And that’s not even the part I’m really concerned about...there is more. Amanda told Andre he could fuck Yoyo and Yoyo agreed. [Giving this nigga permission to fuck her Best friend] Shocked yet...well it gets worse. Andre and Yoyo fucked in the house [where Amanda also resides] and she could hear them fucking...........!

Bruh [I don’t even use that word] that’s some dumb ass messy bullshit.
Anyone who doesn’t have a problem with some bullshit ass fuckery like this is just out of their damn mind. What the fuck is up with these bitches. I mean...Hold on, let me give you a little background on Andre and Amanda. They were doing their thing for a long while. She had feelings about him or whatever...but yall know, some shit just don’t work out. But they remain cool. Now last year one of Amanda’s other close friends, we will call her Shannon, fucked Andre too. Amanda didn’t give her "permission" and was furious at first when she found out...but quickly accepted it and marked it off as nothing. [She and Shannon are still close as ever...if not closer!]What the fuck? Dude seriously what the hell is wrong with yo ass to associate with hoes [YES HOES] who would fuck your ex-boo thang. Even with permission? So basically Andre done fucked 2 of your closest friends and yo dumb silly ass. I understand if dude was JUST dick...did I just lie like that? Yea...I wouldn’t understand it even if he was just eatin her pussy. You don’t go " Aye he was only eatin me, we can all share that fye ass head." Hell naw bitch.
Let's switch this whole thing to if I were Amanda. Number one: Shannon would have been cut. You aint gone fuck with my ex and try to be my best friend. No ma'am, and when I ask yo ass about it you lie to my face until wayyy later on. Bitch please! Shannon would know not to speak two words to my ass EVER again in life. Grimy bitch. Next: If Andre asked me permission to fuck one of my BEST friends...his ass would have got cut. No. First his ass would have got laughed at [Giving him a chance to correct his mistake by pretending to laugh with me and say he was "just playin"]! Ooooweee, if ya'll knew how truly disgusted I am about the whole little messy situation. Anywho after I cut his ass or he corrected his mistake then that would be it. It wouldnt have been no "Yoyo fucking Andre while I can hear them" situation. What does Amanda possibly think of her friends? what the fuck do her friends think of her? Grimey ass bitches sharing niggas....its way to many dicks in this world for that nonsense! Like fareal! What makes this ok with them? They can all sit around and compare how good or how garbage Andre dick is. Aw yea that’s cool? Where the fuck they do that at? Andre getting the best of the situation...wonder how he feels when he walks in a room with them, knowing he done fucked 3 bestfriends. [& shit if I were Andre, if they let me--I'd do the same shit...Smh at myself, I'd be one triflin ass nigga]
Clearly, I don’t think to highly of these girls. I mean they cool...to party with, but as actual friends...yea I don’t think any of them really know the definition of a friend. Or if they have ever had a real one. Because I know for a fact real friends don’t pull bullshit as moves like that. Now me and Yoyo have history. Terrible unwanted history that proves just how much she doesn’t know what "a friend" is. Silly ass. !
[I typed this way earlier today...waiting for an anonymous source to give her quotes so that I could insert her opinion..but she never did, Smh...!]
So..is this ok? Would you ever give your best friend permission to sleep with your ex? Or...if your bestfriend slept with your ex behind your back, Would ya'll still be friends?...Thoughts and comments! Ok, Until next time.Toodles.

You wanna put that WHERE?

Yo.
So I've been trying for like 30 minutes to get these 5 videos from Facebook on this post. BUT, I can’t...all I can do is include the link. [This will be at the bottom of the post]These guys have made a little show on facebook. It's HILARIOUS. Seriously, the shit it just too funny and I wanted to share it with my followers to get your comments. [WARNING: The following post will get a little nasty...vulgar, and if you don’t like reading about things dealing with sex...take yo ass on to the next blog. Still here? Ok, you've been warned!]Anywho in their latest episode they talked about swallowing nutt! And they said if you don’t swallow then it's their right to nutt on the girls face.

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Wait for it.......
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WTF?
Dude...are you serious? Now in this blog I try not to discuss sex so much because...well hell because I have some nosey people that I know who follow my blog. And I don’t want them all to know my business. And sex should be left behind closed doors. Left in the room with those two people. Anywho...I wish a nigga would. Like fareal. I don’t have too many limitations during sex, but that one...that one is a HELL NO. Aint gone never ever happen thing. Ugh. I’m not going to comment on the swallowing part. BUT if a female doesn’t swallow and the guy makes it his business to nutt on her face without permission...Hold on, Rewind that. If I don’t swallow and a guy makes it his business to nutt on MY face without permission [which they would never have] they better expect some damn drama. I’m getting up cutting a nigga, and the dick is gone be the first victim. This whole "cum on a bitch face" thing has always bothered me. When I watch flicks and see that shit I always have to turn away. Its sooo...Ugh, just ugh. I cringe when I see it, thinking "Ughhh, if all that was on my face...Ugh."! That's something I aint gone EVER get with. I understand making sacrifices and shit, but even if my husband wanted to do that, I couldn’t go there. No sir, you will not spill your "baby batter" [As Simone calls it] on my face. Hell no. It gets in their eyes and shit...Ugh, why do people get off seeing that? Guys? Ladies who will let it happen? Why in the hell is that a turn on?!
 Anywho they also talked about how one of the top ten females lies is “I don’t suck dick.". ! I laughed sooo hard on that episode. And I hear that soo often. Now I don’t see a problem with oral. At all. But there are a lot of women who say they don’t suck dick or wont when they are in public...but soon as they behind closed doors...SMH! I almost understand where they coming from when they deny it though. "Dicksucker" is used as a degrading term. So if called one the girl automatically jumps to her defense by saying " I don’t" and blah blah blah blah. Ugh, I hate to hear it though. I mean I’m sure some of them aren’t lying...but the majority who say it...they are. Now, dont get me wrong. Some people will say " Lady's dont air their buisness". And I'm with you on that...100%. but Not answering or responding to that type of question and lying about it is totally different. [Avoid the question all together, people dont need to be in your bedroom...but dont lie about it!!]I remember once senior year this girl in class asked me and the bestie a question. She called us over to the table and said "I’m trying to tell him....Tell him black girls don’t suck dick. Don’t ya'll think that’s nasty?"...Me and the bestie looked at each other. "Well, I don’t see a problem with it." “Me either"...She looked at us and was like “Ughhh. Well, something wrong with yall, Black girls dont do that. Something wrong with us? Um...cause we being real? Because we don’t see a problem with it...something wrong with us. Where in the hell did she get "Black girls don’t suck dick."? Why is that broken down to a race thing? SO white girls are the ones known for sucking dick? Is it because they won’t easily lie about it like black women? Just sayin'....! But I get where the ones who lie about it are coming from. One time a guy friend made a comment to a bestie about a note she wrote on facebook. In the note it had a line that said something about someone complementing her head skills...about how her head game was cold or some shit. [But the note was about love...and cheating...I think? She deleted it because some drama came from it.] And she asked the guy friend did he like her note and he said “It let everybody know you suck dick.”! Dude? Seriously...that wasn’t even the point of the note...and so fuckin’ what!! Yo girl suck yo dick on a daily and you brag about it...but when she write it...it makes her a bad person. Yea, I kinda get where girls come from when they deny that they do it. Because some people will look down on them...even some guys. Bullshit ass hypocrites. It's just sex...grow the fuck up. Anywho, this post is no offense to anything people decide to do or don’t decide to do sexually. Just letting out a few of my opinions. Yeap...until next time...TOODLES! :)

[Before clicking the links: They do discuss adult content in the video..so like I said above if you do like hearing about sex dont click on them. And ladies they do use the word "bitch"...some might find them disrespectful...! WARNED!]

Episode 1
Episode2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5

So...I MIGHT be celibate?

Yo.


So today has been a MUCH better day. Like I said I’m trying to be off that depressing shit! Oh, and to my new followers...*waves hands frantically*Hello lovely's! It's so nice of you to join me! :)

 Ok, so I've finally deleted all of his messages...and guess what I actually feel A LOT better! I thought I'd be sad but it's like having a fresh start finally! Anywho my topic for tonight came from reading a fellow bloggers, Epitome, post on her not hvaing sex. [Visit -Epitome-  *Here*] in this post I will be discussing my whole “I might be celibate?" thing. Yeah...celibate! Me? For those who know me yall are probably thinking "Girl hell naw, shut that shit up."...But if you scroll down I’m keeping a counter at the very bottom of the last time I've had sex. And...IT'S ALMOST BEEN 6 MONTHS! Wow!-- Now, I hate when people throw the word celibate around because most of the time if they not having sex its involuntary. Celibacy is usually based around religious reasons...and that is definetly not the case here. So I will not be throwing it around. I'm not taking a vow to be celibate, I’m just going without sex until I find someone who I feel doesn’t just want to hit. You know? And that’s been hella hard lately! Lately I just don’t trust guys as far as I can throw them [cliché I know!] But I don't. None of them.

 I mean at one point in my life I used to believe that it was possible for boys and girls to be just friends without either ever thinking any sexual thoughts about their friend. But yea...that’s proven not to be true for me. But...maybe just me. My friends that happen to be male have all expressed in some sort of way that they'd love a chance to sleep with me. I find it quite annoying. I mean here I am talking to you about all my life problems and how triflin' dudes are in general...and you’re lusting after me?! Ughhh...who does that leave me to talk to if all yall motherfuckas wanna screw me?! I mean is it really so hard to find a dude that I can just be friends with...? Without them ever thinking "Damn...if only she let me."...Ladies? Let me know if it's just me! I guess I just need to find a new group of people to hang with. New dudes, news females...cause the ones now, it just isn’t hitting on shit! [Well except my besties...love those girls to death.]

Anywho back to this whole not having sex thing. Ok, so at first it wasn’t intentional. It was just that after my last sex partner I became anti-social to the EXTREME. Which I still am, but then I didn’t even notice that I hadn’t had sex. Now? Now this shit is starting to get to me. but I’m not just gone walk up to the first dick I see and jump on it...oooh but some days...some days make me want to call up the closest dick from my past.... And I'll leave it to that. Simple. But now I’m determined to find someone who convinces me [which is gone be pretty hard] that they want more than just sex. Yeap, let’s see how high my counter gets before I take it down. Hopefully it doesn’t take ANOTHER 6 months...but who knows! :)! I hope my lovelys are having a wonderful day...Until next time...
TOODLES!

  

Guys who don’t think they measure up down there/how girls have influence on how guys feel about their size.

Yo.


First thing, Sorry about the slacking with my posts! I will try to make this a daily blog...but sometimes I just don’t feel up to it. But hopefully my days will get better! Anywho, so I was talking to my brother :) and he suggested a really nice topic...So here goes.

ok..so this has nothing to do w/ the topic, just thought it was funny :)

Topic of the day: Guys who don’t think they measure up down there and how girls have influence on how guys feel about their size.

Ok. So this is such a touchy topic for a lot of guys. I've been with a guy who is a little insecure when it comes to the size of his dick. In my opinion he was just fine...all I needed! He wasn’t small, not HUGE...but not at all small! I never complained about the size of his dick, I didn’t even know he had a problem with his size until after we broke up. I asked him why he thought he didn’t measure up, why that silly thought was even crossing his mind when I had never complained. To find out the issue was based on what one of his previous exes had told him. He and the girl had gotten into an argument after they broke up one day at school. A very public argument and when she got at her maddest she yelled out those horrible words that no man would ever want to hear “That’s why you have a small dick anyway". Tragic! Of course in front of the public he dusted it off like it was nothing...but he took those few words to heart. & since then he had a problem with his size. When he shared that story with me I felt his pain. I mean, I knew his ex-girlfriend and I knew she was extremely childish! She was still very much in love with him and didn’t want to see him with anyone else. So when he wasn’t with her she took that below the belt shot at his pride. She won.

So after his story, I spent the rest of the night trying to convince him that he wasn’t small, but getting nowhere! [A tip for girls: When you’re trying to convince a guy that he isn’t small stay away from the phrase "It doesn’t matter about the size...as long as you can work what you have"...Trust me it only makes things worse.] I had never seen an insecure side of him, EVER! He always came off as so confident in everything...and he had that right. *"He walks like this cause he can back it up. He got a BIG ego -Beyonce" * I mean performance wise he was and still remains my best. He did it like no other, and it was all about pleasing me! But because some ex girlfriend said he was small he will always have doubt in my words. Doubt that he is the best. Why is that? Why will guys let those few little words take a toll on them? I mean if it’s only that one chick, that one time that has said it...why takes it to heart? Some guys say because that "one chick, that one time" is probably the only girl willing to be real with them. But if you know that you're giving pleasure to these girls...if you know that when you have sex with your partner you leave them CRAVING you...then why does the size issue come about?!

When females tell a guy his dick is small, for the most part it is out of anger. He could be 12 inches but when he makes her made enough she'll yell whatever it takes to HURT him...and that will most definitely hurt the strongest man! But the females that decide to yell that out of anger are childish anyway! All of them, no matter what the case, they are childish! If a girl just has to tell a guy that he is small that is not the way to do it. Personally size isn’t that MUCH of an issue. But it does matter, because there are some dicks that are just impossible to work with. Don’t even try to get in the bed with me if you only bringing 2 inches. That’s an insult to me! Smhh...It’s like dude wtf were you thinking?! Why even do this to yourself?! But guys don’t have to be 9 inches and above...6, 7, and 8...good workable sizes. 5? If you know how to work it then gone head do you. But 4 and under, I just can’t work with you, Sorry! [:(] Go out and buy some Extenze or one of those other male enhancement pills. No offense to you guys though. Because I have been with a "small" guy...and I just didn’t enjoy it...Guys with smaller dicks have more work to do. Pick your positions wiser...pick ones that off the bat give deeper penetration and maybe it will work!

Why let one girl ruin your ego, why base your size and performance on one girl/guys opinion? I mean why does that mean so much...especially if you know it was said out of anger? What could the next girl say to convince you guys that you aren’t small? That your performance is indeed extremely good? How do you handle situations like that? How do you tell a guy that he is too small in a nice way?! Just a few questions for you guys! Feel free to answer any of them! Leave me comments [it can be anonymous :)]! Tell me your opinion on this whole thing! Ok, until next time
....TOODLES!

Cheating in Relationships

Yo!
 Today’s topic: Relationships...Mostly cheating

Someone once said to me “What is the difference between marriage and being in a relationship with someone?" And of course I tried to give him a decent answer....but in all honesty my mind drew a blank. So I came back with “Marriage is a deeper bond, it requires excepting someone forever...and them being the only one in your life until the end of time, always and forever." He says “Ok. So what's the difference? In a love relationship you’re "supposed" to be faithful, you would do everything you do in a marriage that you would do if you were really serious with this person relationship wise. The only legit reason you should give me is that you’re "supposed" to do it... That it’s right by God." And because I'm stubborn I still tried to argue my side, although he had put me completely on hush mouth. Sadly, my main reason was that in a marriage you wouldn't cheat that that is the point in life when you have finally decided that you could be happy with that person and that person only. So my question is what have relationships come to these days?![Feel free to leave a comment telling me the difference between serious relationships & marriage...besides the obvious bible factors :)]

In a lot of younger peoples relationships today, sex seems to be a huge issue. Whether you’re getting it, from who, how you’re getting it, where you’re getting it, who’s getting it, who has gotten it before you...., it seems to be a huge aspect in relationships. Thus cheating becomes an even bigger issue. Yes, cheating...that horrible topic that everyone likes to tiptoe around. I hear so many people saying that their boyfriend/girlfriend would never cheat on them because they are providing everything they need. But still people cheat. When girls cheat on a guy there always has to be a reason right? It’s not like guys...because guys just do it for the thrill of new pussy sometimes but when a girl cheats there has to be something deeper...right? Wrong. I know a lot of guys who are strong believers of that. strong believers that if a girl cheats she’s doing it for revenge, or because she's not interested in what she has there, or simply because her boyfriend has done something to seriously piss her off and she found comfort in this guys dick that she's now riding. But I've been there done that and I know from personal experience that it does not necessarily have to be a reason for a girl to cheat. It could simply be because she was horny one night...and she needed convenient dick. But when a girl says something like that it automatically makes her a whore. Someone once told me “It is not in a woman’s nature to cheat, it is not instilled in them. When we [guys] do it...it’s expected but for a woman it is out of character. Therefore it is whorish." People always ask is it possible to love someone but cheat on them. & yes it is. It is very possible. I hate the whole double standard stuff when it comes to guys and girls. I hate that guys can get away with so much. Giving an example from personal experiences: A guy from my past broke up with me saying that I had changed and blah blah blah. But to me it was random and unexpected...so the reason he gave me was completely bogus. & after talking about it later he admitted that we broke up because he had been cheating and it was bothering him to keep it from me...and that he loved me and just didn’t want to hurt me. I actually was a bit relieved behind the real reason we broke up and I was willing to stick by his side since he had decided to be honest with me...! But since he was honest I decided that I could tell him about the one incident in my whole life when I had become very weak and cheated. I told him expecting him to be mad...but to be willing to work through it just as I was willing to work with him...but of course it didn’t quite go that way. I had never loved that hard...ever, but still I found a way to cheat. Til this day I beat myself up about the whole incident...and think maybe if I wouldn’t have cheated we would still be together, but he would still be cheating. It wouldn’t have changed the fact that he had cheated on me numerous amounts of time...and that he COULDNT be faithful. It wouldn’t change that no matter what. So why is it so hard to be faithful, why is it so easy to cheat? In my opinion cheating is for those who lack self control, and yes that includes me. At the time when I had cheated I lacked self control...I just wanted what I knew would feel good... [Which by the way was far from it : /] & since then I made it a priority to have self-control. And believe me when I say I have come a long way & will never cheat again. That feeling of deception afterwards damn near killed me!


All they guys I've dated are completely different guys but at my age I never expect ANY of them to be completely faithful. How sad is that? How sad is it that girls constantly fall in love with these guys and when they cheat on them...they already expected it in the back of their minds. And no matter what it all ends the same way. Some people reading this are probably thinking it’s the guys you chose to be with, but even the ones I’m just close friends with, the ones I would never expect to cheat....still find away to amaze me. People in general cheat...even the most naive girls and the sweetest guys. People cheat...but why have I come so fond of it. Why do I now expect it to happen?! Hmm, maybe someone could give me some feedback to open my eyes! Give me your opinion on cheating...relationships...or just anything you think would make an interesting topic for a new discussion! I love feedback...so share your thoughts :)! So until tomorrow
.....Toodles.

GiRLS HOLDiNG OUT ON THE [NOOKiE]

Yo!


So Today has been a pretty dry day. I mean I went to bio lab and came back to my room! Whoa...what a day for a college student huh? Anywho on to the topic of the day.

Topic of the day: GiRLS MAKiNG GUYS WAiT FOR THE NOOKiE!

Sex? Yes...the topic is sex! So a guy friend of mine suggested this topic. I hear and read about things like this all the time. I've heard many different views on it...but have never really voiced mine on it! So here goes.

A girl gets with a guy that she's kind of feeling and decides not to fuck him until she KNOWS that he is there for her and not just for her pussy. Hmmm, now speaking from personal experiences I'm not a huge fan of that whole hold out on a dude for a year [or some other outrageous amount of time]. I mean I understand those girls who just want the guys respect and all that other shit...but if your with him for like 6 months...you know he's feeling you but still u want to wait...do you really think that’s the definition of respect? Because while you think he's waiting, respecting you...more than likely he's just getting the pussy from some other girl. Some girl that didn’t make him waits. Now most "respectable" girls reading this are like "Well she just a hoe, and if I had to fuck him that quick I don’t need him". But then he end up leaving you for that "hoe". Then yall find every reason why he wasn’t worth shit anyway. When really if you would have let him sample a little nookie and stop holding out for months and years and shit...you would have had a better chance at keeping him.

I mean come on now, everybody is grown here. Every man AND woman knows that they have needs...and as bad as he wants the pussy, you want the dick just as bad. Now don’t get me wrong... I’m not saying fuck him on the first night...hell or even in the first week. But if you’re trying to test if he respects you give it a month or 2 at the most to see if he still wants to be with you. But anything beyond that is just insane. If you've ever had good dick/pussy before you know how hard it is going without it...It’s like torture. So why would you put anyone through that?! [Personally If I were a guy and did respect some girls wishes to wait...We waited and during the waiting period I fell in love with that chick. then when the sex come its bad pussy...i mean real bad and she dont even have the mouth to make up for it...its time to go! Some shit you just can't fix!] & why even put him in that situation. The female would think he left because he finally got the pussy but in all reality he just left because it was nasty raw toxic pussy! UGH! & he would probably be devastated that a girl he "loved" so much can’t even give him pleasure. See that situation right there can ALWAYS be avoided. The whole point of me voicing my opinion on this is because it truly bothers me when girls are constantly telling me that their not having sex with a guy & he respects that but I KNOW for a fact he be getting it elsewhere. Just don’t put yourself in that situation... a little waiting is ok, just don’t be outrageous!

There is sooo much more I could say about this but I'm sure yall tired of reading. So after reading this leave me a comment and tell me your thoughts [if your not a member it will be anonymous! :)] Say what you like...I love feedback! :) Until tomorrow guys..............
TOODLES!